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Adam Sandler gets peed on by a deer. In the face. In the first scene.
This is the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.
Here is a list of terrible things that have happened in my life that don't even compare to the hell I went through with Grown Ups 2:
-I was born and I straight up touched ALL of my mom's vagina.
-I took a big swig out of a Gatorade bottle thinking it…
I vividly remember seeing Eyes Wide Shut for the first time. It was opening day back in 1999. I went in with a mixture of anticipation and sadness. Anticipation because Kubrick had pronounced this to be the best film he’s ever made. Sadness because I knew it was the last time I would see a Kubrick for the first time.
After the show was finished, my friend and I walked to a café. We barely spoke about it. I was…
Despite my misgivings, it turns out Spring Breakers isn't some sneaky in-joke by Harmony Korine making fun of people dazzled by bright colors and wanting to have a good time. Well, it is, but it's less of a joke than an elegy; not a diatribe against Dionysian debauchery but instead a tragic story of the subversive co-opting of youth culture by commercialism and the effects it has on people snookered by it from the cradle to the (early) grave. Everything…