Conan the Barbarian 2011 ★★

An absolutely insane scene at the beginning of the film to hammer home Conan being "born in battle" leads to a lot of grunting, much chopping, some more grunting, an assassination or ten, more grunting, and lots of Rose McGowan trying to look evil under some crazy Minbari makeup. Rachel Nichols actually seems like she's putting quite a bit of effort into being good in this movie, and she's really the most-watchable character. Otherwise, it's hard to picture this as a Conan movie and not some generic fantasy schlock. But, the main villain does make a helmet out of some tentacled demon-thing, so that's kindof awesome.

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