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Animal Kingdom 2010
It says it's a crime story, but the only crime story here is that they don't do a segment on how awesome it is to fuck chickens. Seriously. They cover pretty much everything else, but leave out the chickens.
What. The. Hell.
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Drive 2011
An Open Letter to Ryan Gosling,
Hey Bro.
So, first off, I'd just like to say that I really enjoyed your performance in this film. Had a real satisfying 'postmodern man with no name' kinda vibe to it. Nice one. Not so much with the Gangster Squad thing. I guess that was probably one of those projects that looked better on paper, huh? Hey, you win some, you lose some. I haven't seen The Place Beyond The Pines yet, but…
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Avatar 2009
James Cameron's next film is just going to be footage of him squealing with glee, naked, touching himself, in a pile of your hard earned money, on a greenscreen backdrop, in 3D, mocking you for spending so much cash to see his hokey movies. You'll love it and it will break all kinds of records and James Cameron will then buy the moon.
