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  • Lone Survivor 2013

    ★½ Added 5

    I have no idea why I keep subjecting myself to these weird American Military Heroism War Porns. Seriously. I also can't understand how people who complain about "the liberal media not supporting the troops" consider these ridiculous caricatures of real people's sacrifices (made for the purpose of entertainment) to be a form of tribute or respect. I mean, let's be real here... Lone Survivor is essentially a weird hybrid of The Predator and ANY OTHER MOVIE FEATURING THAT TIRED OLD…

  • 300: Rise of an Empire 2014

    ★★ Added 1

    *Yawn*

    Boobs in the first ten seconds. Slow motion. CGI blood spurts. Mostly naked dirty musclemen yelling about glory or whatever. More boobs. Shameless setup for next franchise installment. An entire movie made of ones and zeros in post-production. Terrible remixed version of Black Sabbath's 'War Pigs' during credit roll. Rinse & Repeat.

    *Yawn*

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  • Drive 2011

    ★★★★★ Added 31

    An Open Letter to Ryan Gosling,

    Hey Bro.

    So, first off, I'd just like to say that I really enjoyed your performance in this film. Had a real satisfying 'postmodern man with no name' kinda vibe to it. Nice one. Not so much with the Gangster Squad thing. I guess that was probably one of those projects that looked better on paper, huh? Hey, you win some, you lose some. I haven't seen The Place Beyond The Pines yet, but…

  • Avatar 2009

    ★½ Added 25

    James Cameron's next film is just going to be footage of him squealing with glee, naked, touching himself, in a pile of your hard earned money, on a greenscreen backdrop, in 3D, mocking you for spending so much cash to see his hokey movies. You'll love it and it will break all kinds of records and James Cameron will then buy the moon.