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  • Blair Witch

    Blair Witch 2016

    ★★ Watched 26 Sep, 2016

    The most satisfying part was when the credits rolled so I could finally run to the restroom because oh my god, I should not have drank that literal toddler-sized Coke Zero.

  • Albert Fish: In Sin He Found Salvation

    Albert Fish: In Sin He Found Salvation 2007

    ½ Watched 27 Aug, 2016

    Albert Fish: In Sin He Found Salvation is without a doubt The Room of the documentary genre. There is no question in my mind that somewhere, John Borowski is out living his life and walking around with this notion in his head that he made the greatest, most important documentary to ever exist. Like when they filmed all the hilariously dramatic, psedo-depraved reenactments, John was standing in the corner of the room desperately trying to conceal the rock hard erection…

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  • Taken

    Taken 2008

    ★★★★½ Rewatched 27 Feb, 2014

    Whatever, I love this movie. And although I'm sure my own father would try his best to rescue me, I'd like to officially request that Liam Neeson be the one assigned to come after me if I ever get kidnapped and sold into human trafficking. He seems to know his way around an International kidnapping, whereas my dad knows his way around Pawn Stars and getting the best deals on deli meats.

  • Wild Wild West

    Wild Wild West 1999

    ★★★★ Rewatched 28 Mar, 2014 11

    I've seen Wild Wild West an embarrassing number of times. For some reason, it was the one and only bootleg VHS we owned when I was a kid, and I watched the hell out of it.

    This movie is so goddamn stupid and I just don't understand how everyone doesn't have a soft spot for it. I mean.. a gigantic terrible CGI robotic spider? Come on. That is so stupid that it can't not be badass.

    Plus if you ever…