Battleship 2012 ½

Every time I hear someone say "But dude! It's a blockbuster! It doesn't have to make sense!"" I think to myself "Yeah, right, go fuck yourself..."

I can't fathom why blockbuster entertainment and a good script can't coexist anymore. Back in the days "blockbuster" stood for movies like Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Back To The Future, Ghostbusters, Rocky, Rambo, Terminator and what have you, big action cinema, big jokes, big entertainment.

I don't say these were cinematic masterpieces like other now grownups still praise them to be, but at least they were creative, memorable, funny, with real characters, cool stories and most importantly: they were entertaining! They were fucking entertaining! You went to the cinema, got your popcorn, sat down and stared at the screen for 2 hours, enjoying yourself with friends, laughing your ass off and screaming in excitement. Oh, what would I give to again see a simple blockbuster movie with an at least decent script...

The situation today? Puke out a half-assed script, get some "actors" to "play" the shit and put a bunch of CGI and loud sound effects in to distract the people from the complete and utter stupidity.

Battleship has not even one single aspect of film making done great.

Not. Even. One.

If this is your favorite movie ever, we can't be friends.

5 Comments

  • Every time I hear someone say "But dude! It's a blockbuster! It doesn't have to make sense!"

    I can't fathom why blockbuster entertainment and a good script can't coexist anymore. Back in the days "blockbuster" stood for movies like Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Back To The Future, Ghostbusters, Rocky, Rambo, Terminator and what have you, big action cinema, big jokes, big entertainment.

    Amen, brother.

    There is no reason why any film *must* not be good. No reason whatsoever.

    This movie could be every bit as good as Indiana Jones...if only the film-makers gave a shit.

  • I just can't warp my head around why it shouldn't be possible to make an awesome robot cgi hot chick big explosions blockbuster with a good script. It seems to be very difficult, because sadly Hollywood can't deliver.

  • What is their incentive?

    Transformers 3 grossed over $1.1 billion worldwide.

    If bad movies make large profits, why waste time and effort on a good story?

  • Should have read 'why waste time and effort crafting a good story?'.

  • Their incentive should be, and I know I am a little naive here, is to make a good movie, simple as that. Maybe not the studio itself, it is the profit that counts for them, but the people involved should have an interest in that. Nobody who worked on that movie could possibly say "Well, guys, congratulations! We did an awesome job! This is a really cool movie!" How can they sleep at night!? (Rolling naked in money, I know... )

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