This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
I'm not entirely sure this was a movie but more or a rabid fever dream fan fiction someone at Sony accidentally sent as an official script.
What I am sure of is that this was the hardest I've laughed watching something in awhile.
My friend Kingdom of Kitten summed it up perfectly around the point we got to the Mayan/"Indian Jones" type Tomb full of gold and surfing objects as "this is a MadLibs script!"
It's more accurate than you…