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  • The Santa Clause 2 2002

    Watched 20 Dec, 2014

    Key points:

    1. Heterogeneity is not only necessary, it's crucial.
    2. Capitalism rocks! (Even teachers need dem gifts.)
    3. Dictatorship is BAD! Socialism is BAD! Fake Santa=Stalin (re-arrange those letters, all that's missing is "i")
    4. Tim Allen is a cunt.
    5. 95% of those elves are cunts.
    6. Education < Christmas
    7. Teachers are all stuck up losers who don't know how to partay.
    8. Joy < Gifts
    9. Disney's secret joke weapon? Farts!
    10. Gifts gifts gifts!

  • Oculus 2013

    ★★½ Watched 17 Dec, 2014 1

    Basically a really good idea, told in a really clever way, ruined by some of the worst dialogue to have (dis)graced the screen in 2014. I swear, had I heard these scared siblings refer to the mirror's "tricks" one more time, I'd have thrown my fucking shoe through the television.

    Tricks... jeez

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  • About Time 2013

    ★½ Watched 04 Sep, 2013 4

    Offensively melodramatic and so full of plot holes. The film attempts to be a quirky existential romance but results in a muddled mess of haphazard science fiction and good ol' English charm.

    So rubbish. This film made me really mad.

  • Idiocracy 2006

    ★★★ Watched 25 Sep, 2013 7

    A concerning portrait of what the future could be like, it is hard to imagine it being much different.