List by Ronan Doyle
Get Out of My Eyes: 81 Movies I Hated
Why 81? Cos that's how many movies I've ranked one star or less (that makes me think I must be way too lenient). Hopefully some of these should stir some controversy; I know several will. Ratings range from recent all the way back to 2008, so forgive me if I can't quite recall the rationale behind my hatred. I may be convinced to rewatch some titles. Entries not ranked.
I'm sure others will pick out films like The Deer Hunter and Raising Arizona being on the list but CLIFFHANGER??!! What is wrong with you man?
At least the likes of Death Note, W.E. and Seven Pounds are on here too.
Ha, Cliffhanger was one of few I spotted while compiling this and thought "Hang on a minute..." Funnily enough I reviewed Dark Tide recently and unfavourably compared it to Cliffhanger. Going by the fact that I gave Dark Tide 1.5 stars, you can be sure Cliffhanger will be departing this list whenever I get around to watching it again.
Good. Just for John Lithgow's scenery chewing it is worth more than a single star.
My thoughts exactly, apparently. "At least with Cliffhanger you had the benefits of John Lithgow hamming it up as a maniacal villain, Sylvester Stallone spouting cringe-worthy one liners from his trademark grimace, and unashamed gore like the infamous stalactite impaling." Poor old Cliffhanger, it deserves better than this company.
What's wrong with Kill Bill Vol. 2?
Almost everything. I found it not only incredibly boring, but unspeakably annoying too. What I most remember is wanting to claw out my eyeballs when that Chinese trainer dude kept stroking his beard. Couldn't stand it.
Have you got something against Sylvester Stallone?
How dare you hate Cobra?!?!
I can understand you're inclusion of a lot of Stallone's work. I think we're around the same age, and I know I didn't grow up with a lot of them so approaching them without any nostalgia, they're poorly made, plain and simple. Cliffhanger is a blast though.
@Cohaagen Funnily enough no, I'm actually very very for Stallone. The thing is I fell in love with Rocky and Rambo at a relatively young age and went and bought almost all of the movies he'd written. I was so disappointed that they weren't in the same league that they got very low ratings from me, and having not watched them since I've never changed them. I'm sure they'd all escape the list on a rewatch.
Cobra is rubbish though. Not hateworthy, perhaps, but rubbish.
I must say Cobra is one I have little affection for, but Demolition Man is just so incredibly ridiculous that I can’t help loving it. I recently watched Over the Top and found it pretty enjoyable, probably with a huge helping of the nostalgia that Colin the dude brought up. I can see how coming off the back of Rocky and Rambo they could be disappointing though.
Agreed, Richard. Ronan's the disease - we're the cure.
Raising Arizona has to be the most interesting one in this list. I'd like to hear your thoughts on that, Ronan. I personally love it, but I'd love to hear a rare opposing view on it.
Well, here's what I wrote on IMDb after watching it:
"Any film which numbers Nicolas Cage among its cast is a big risk for me. The man is one of those actors whose presence almost always signifies a terrible film to come. The combination of this bearing the Coen stamp and being the first Cage film I'd seen since Adaptation—in which he is, dare I say it, bearable—assuaged my fears and allowed me to sit back with hope intact. The film's opening is rapid in pace, though not too much of a fault: it's a little distracting, and feels a tad rushed, but it's no serious problem. The humour—for this is a comedy, in case you're unaware—starts relatively strong, an extended scene in which Hi attempts to control the quintuplets whilst choosing which to steal particularly humorous. Had the credits rolled immediately thereafter, I would've been happy. But they don't, alas. What follows is just over an hour of completely misguided humour, bare caricatures, and that most hated of "comedy" clichés: the parody of deep-South life. To call it an uncomfortable viewing experience would be an understatement, my eyes trained on the DVD player "time elapsed" display as my fingers drummed on the chair, waiting for it all to end. Other than in the first half hour, I genuinely don't think as much as a brief chuckle escaped my mouth. The characters are irritating, underdeveloped, uninteresting, and uninvolving (the bounty hunter biker caused me no end of sighs and wails of despair). I now remember, if you'll permit me something of a tangential thought, that I did in fact laugh twice: once each for Frances McDormand and John Goodman, both of whom are amongst the painfully few good things the film has to offer. Though that said, the scene wherein Goodman emerges from mud vexed me with its silly shouting. As if I wasn't disappointed and disgusted enough with the film as a whole, to return to things, the ending is utterly revolting garbage which attempts, in a most upsetting way, to sanitise what has gone before with paint-by-numbers sentiment. Simply infuriating."
Interesting and actually you make some good points about it. It's never been one of those films that I thought could potentially split opinions but I think your post shows that it can.
Obviously, I disagree and interpreted much of what you hated in a completely different way. I viewed the whole thing as being completely tongue in cheek and the Coens doing deliberately unsubtle parodies of many different situations and stories.
But still, quite refreshing to see a dissenting opinion like that.
It's one of the ones that might totally change my opinion on a rewatch. I remember being iffy on Blood Simple first time, now I think it's one of their finest. Gotta say I'm not huge on their straight comedies though, Lebowski's one I've never really got the appeal of.
Interesting list. You clearly don't like the Will Ferrell et al films.
Honestly I was expecting more shockers, but we agree on a lot of these. I was very disappointed by Raising Arizona and was not entirely bowled over by Deer Hunter. And I HATED All the Boys Love Mandy Lane.
But I like large chunks of Kill Bill 2 and I must say I think Kids, while a despicable and difficult film, is a very important one and finely made.
I've never seen Mixed Nuts, but the French original, which basically translates as Santa is a Bastard, is absolutely hysterical.
Now that's a title worth watching for. Kids is important, no doubt, but damn it I found it insufferable. A hell of a lot more to it though than the other Larry Clark film on the list: Bully. That's a repulsive piece of crap on every level.
While its pretty clear we should never get drunk together and discuss Mandy Lane, Step Brothers or A Serbian Film, you make some fine choices here - some of which I wouldn't even honour with a 1/2 star grade.
Kaboom, for example, is probably the most indulgent pile of wank I've ever clapped eyes on and almost made me want to take a life, while Untraceable is second only to FearDotCom in the 'unwatchable techno-thrillers' category. Horrible.
Also, looks like that blu-ray of Welcome to the Jungle I bought for three quid about a year ago is staying in its wrapper for just a little while longer...