A fever dream of a movie which I'm not sure actually happened. Nothing within these minutes bears any resemblance to reality. There's a character who has made it to college without ever learnt colours (and he's not colourblind). But the sheer incredulity of the whole affair saw me leaving the cinema with a smile and a head that needed scratching.

Yeah, still one of the greatest movies ever made.

What? All of my friends loved this movie but there was nothing for me to cling on to or engage with. Largely dialogue free and mostly context free, this is a hard slog for those who aren't paying attention or simply don't have the patience to solve every mystery a director presents you with (even if the mystery is ostensibly simple).

So I understand I'm in a minority, but I don't care: Holy Motors didn't work for me.