review by Beercorn
Underworld: Awakening 2012
Watched May 10, 2012
Beercorn’s review:
Underworld: Awakening is the fourth installment in the Underworld series and is yet another pointless sequel with a plot that needlessly treats it as a reboot of the series.
It's hard for me to choose where to start with this movie. So much was wrong with it, from characters doing illogical things(i.e. putting silver ammo in guns when preparing to fight humans) to flat-out continuity errors within the story(i.e. Vampires inexplicably not needing blood to survive and instead just using it for convenient super-healing from time to time).
There are two things about this film that just annoyed me more than anything else. First is the fact that our protagonist doesn't feel like a real person at all and thus doesn't work at all in a fish-out-of-water scenario like this one. Despite the fact that Selene is in a new, post-lycan world that she doesn't understand, Selene never appears to learn anything over the course of this story. We know that she does, but only because the other characters let us know that she did. Selene is just so cold and emotionless that she never appears to make any personal revelations and is never affected by anything that happens to her, or her true love, or her daughter, or anybody that she's supposed to care about.
The other thing that I couldn't stand about this film was the fact that nothing fucking happened. Selene found her daughter who she just discovered, and then she killed a single super-lycan(which she's already fought a few of in the previous films) that didn't have any emotional connection to her or anybody else in the series. For a while, it appeared that finding Michael would only be a minor objective leading up to the actual conflict in this film, but it turned out I was wrong. It turned out that finding Michael was the entire point of the film, and they didn't even do it. They found out where he was, and then he jumped off a roof or something and that was the end of the film. I was honestly quite surprised when the credits started rolling immediately after they discovered that Michael had escaped. It felt like there was supposed another 30 minutes to this movie in which Michael leads Selene to the true conflict at hand, but then there wasn't.
Now that I've discussed everything that's wrong with this film, I'll start listing the things I did like about it. I liked the costumes that they used for the lycans. I was really surprised that they went to the effort of using real, frightening costumes instead of shitty CGI like what they did in the third film. I also liked that the movie was only an hour long, because I really don't think I could have handled 90 minutes of this fucking garbage.
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