Loud, empty, incoherent and messy. There's the germ of some good stuff in here, and god knows I didn't hate it anywhere near as much as that other long-awaited summer sequel Jurassic World, but the vast majority of it is totally misguided - the cast is almost all terrible or wasted, the constant humour is just weak and the cartoony CGI action uninvolving.
Also has the misfortune of being the second film of 2015 to nick from Uncharted 2's amazing opening sequence, after Fast & Furious 7.
Chris Rock plays essentially himself as a movie star with a chequered past - although all of the bad things that happen to him in the film seem to be everyone else's fault rather than his own. which sort of defeats the point of a "look at me making a semi-autobiographical warts-and-all film" doesn't it?
Definitely funny in places (Cedric the Entertainer and JB Smoove are great in their small roles) but the serious undertones really don't work in this film at all.
Also - it's incredibly weirdly homophobic.