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  • The Punisher 2004

    Watched 31 Jul, 2014 1

    The Punisher flip-flops between a 90s Lifetime movie and an 80s action movie, but it's not good in any sense.

    On a related note, has Thomas Jane ever delivered a line in a convincing manner? I've yet to see proof.

  • Smokin' Aces 2006

    ★★ Watched 30 Jul, 2014

    Smokin' Aces is a film that manages to cram every bit of exposition into the span of about 5 minutes and then goes absolutely incomprehensibly bananas for the remaining 103 minutes.

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  • The Grand Budapest Hotel 2014

    ★★★★½ Watched 04 Apr, 2014

    I feel as though I am at a loss for words when it comes to The Grand Budapest Hotel. It seems as though all of my thoughts have already been expressed by reviewers far more competent than myself. That puts me in a weird spot because I don't want to just write the same things that everyone else has written. But, if everything has been said, what the hell am I supposed to say?

    I suppose I'd like to begin…

  • The Fault in Our Stars 2014

    ★★ Watched 09 Jun, 2014 6

    The Fault in Our Stars is predominantly trite, sentimental, contrived, pretentious, and emotionally manipulative.

    Shailene Woodley plays a surface-level characterization of a teenage girl suffering from terminal cancer. The character ends there, however, as she is a person defined solely by her illness and not much more. Ansel Elgort is one of the better aspects of this film, though his character is similarly lacking in depth and also responsible for uttering some of the more cringe-inducing lines.

    Their relationship on…