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  • Blackhat

    Blackhat 2015

    ★★ Watched 08 Jul, 2016

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Going in I thought this was going to be Chris Hemsworth's Swordfish (a movie that is itself pretty damn stupid). It's not. It has a bit of a brain, but it is also mind-numbingly slow and boring. I never really bought into any of the characters, especially Hemsworth's action-hero hacker (thought he's not nearly as unbelievable as Hugh Jackman's character in Swordfish).

    It was a torture to sit through the last half-hour, hoping that there was going to be some…

  • Ape

    Ape 1976

    ½ Watched 02 Jul, 2016

    Though almost unwatchable for long stretches, this movie has some of the best worst-delivered lines I've ever heard. It's worth watching the first five minutes alone.

    Joanna Kerns wisely used another name when she made this hunk of junk.

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  • Zero Dark Thirty

    Zero Dark Thirty 2012

    ★½ Watched 21 Oct, 2014

    Overlong, dry and just kinda boring, especially for movie depicting recent history. The acting is decent though I don't care a bit about anyone on screen. I mean I already know how it turns out. It's not even an interesting documentary.

    The climactic assault is often just a dark screen with vague hints of motion to be anything but frustrating - realistic lighting, maybe; bad storytelling, definitely.

    The best thing about the movie is the somber soundtrack by Alexandre Desplat.

  • Man of Steel

    Man of Steel 2013

    ★½ Watched 23 Jun, 2013 1

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Meh. Not a big Superman fan, but this movie wasn't very good. Another Goyer script another bad spectacle of story-telling. I did like Michael Shannen as Zod, and Henry Cavill was good as Clark Kent. Not much of a story, but what is there is told poorly. Mostly an excuse to knocked down buildings.

    I think the film's sentiment is best summed up by this:

    1978: All those things I can do. All those powers. And I couldn't even save him.

    2013: All those things I can do. All those powers. And I *wouldn't* even save him.