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  • Transformers: Dark of the Moon

    Transformers: Dark of the Moon 2011

    ★½ Rewatched 25 Jan, 2014

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    For some people, the fact that Optimus Prime brutally kills Megatron was the straw that broke the camel's back where this was concerned. For me, it was the best bit in the whole movie. 

    Optimus Prime has been trying to kill Megatron for years. Even in the animated movie, when Hotrod and and Megatron are brawling, Prime's first instinct when observing this down the barrel of a gun is to yell, "GET OUT OF THE WAY, HOTROD!" He's not concerned…

  • Alien³

    Alien³ 1992

    ★★★ Rewatched 03 Jan, 2014

    There are some films that I watched the first time and didn't think that much of, only for me to revisit them years later and find that they've aged better than they have any right to. For me, Alien 3 is one of those movies. 

    Let me make this clear from the off- this film is still a mess. It tries to go for the claustrophobic feel of the first, but fails at that spectacularly, for the simple reason that…

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  • Mars Attacks!

    Mars Attacks! 1996

    ★★★★ Rewatched 29 Oct, 2012 1

    It's like Independence Day if it shit itself.

  • Detention

    Detention 2011

    ★★★★½ Watched 24 Feb, 2013 8

    For the first fifteen minutes it's unwatchable. I mean properly. It's almost like some sort of endurance test. "Think you're tough, do you? Think you're HARD? BAM, THE MOST ANNOYING OPENING TO A MOVIE, EVER." It's just a barrage of bleating and overly-cute camera work and annoying, annoying, ANNOYING characters. I was this close to turning it off. I had the remote in my hand at least twice.

    But then something happens. It's hard to describe. It's like the movie…