I only watched 15 minutes of it but these were the most mind-numbing, soul-crushing 15 minutes I've spent in a long time. I try to finish every movie I start watching but it was impossible with this one.
Then I found out that
a) the director intended this to be a comedy
b) this is Johnny Depp's most successful movie besides the "Pirates" franchise
c) it was nominated for 3 Golden Globes (for best actor/actress & best comedy/musical)
and I lost…

Gather around, kids, I have a story to tell from the old days of cinema when movies were called films and we used reels to carry them around.

In those days, I worked at a cinema that used projectors in the classical "changeover configuration" (ask aunt wikipedia) and very, very occasionally, the projectionist would forget to load one of the reels causing the film to be 20 minutes shorter than expected. This would usually result in the audience being slightly…