-
The Runaways 1981
A French drama about two young asylum escapees, "The Runaways" (aka "The Escapees") is a slow-moving and straight-forward piece that lacks any danger, conflict, or spark in its narrative. The characters are earnest, but the audience is given very little to care about as the protagonists meet and make their way with exotic dancers and other interesting-sounding folk. The film meanders through its plot until a somewhat gangbusters finale; but that finale comes too late to salvage what slogged before it.
-
The Iron Rose 1973
Not much happens in "The Iron Rose," a languidly paced French film that finds a young couple trapped in a moldering cemetery. Though it lacks a standard narrative, Jean Rollin's meditation on death, life, and relationships is lushly photographed and develops a palpable sense of dread. Creepy enough to stand out, the film feels, at times, like a European answer to "Carnival of Souls." Like that film, the scares are never visceral, but they are present.
-
The Darkest Hour 2011
Two stars is admittedly generous for "The Darkest Hour," an alien invasion film filled with enough laughably bad and distracting acting, directing, and editing choices that it looks ready-made for MST3K or RiffTrax. The film follows a handful of Americans as they make their way through post-invasion Moscow, and though the film itself rarely rises above basic cable quality in terms of cinema, it has an earnestness (and enough genuinely suspenseful moments) that almost makes it respectable.
-
Fascination 1979
Bearing the marks typical to the Jean Rollin canon, "Fascination" offers a glacier-paced plot, gauzey visuals, and almost zero energy. The story involves a French thief who takes refuge in a chateau that is home to a coven of vampires. That premise may be interesting, but the ensuing narrative lacks any real punch or urgency. Fans of Rollin will enjoy the film for all of its languid Rollin-isms; fans of horror and vampire films may find themselves bored.
-
Cruel Passion 1977
With progressive commentary on religion and the human condition, "Cruel Passion" (aka "Justine") stands apart from its exploitative brethren as a film with something to say. The somewhat involving story follows two sisters from convent to brothel and back after the deaths of their parents, and the film is well-shot, delivering the lush greens and crumbly grays of its English locales.
The film swings from drama to comedy to drama again as nuns, madames, and highwaymen are thrown into the…
-
Star Trek Into Darkness 2013
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
-
Jack Reacher 2012
To write that "Jack Reacher" is a mixed bag is an apt but entirely too negative-sounding description. Christopher McQuarries's film, a slow burning mystery with a comic, tone-bending lilt, follows Tom Cruise's ex-army cop (or something) protagonist through a rip roaring, investigative adventure. McQuarrie pumps elements of noir and action into film in which a lack of style in some scenes becomes a style all its own.
Fortunately, this bag of mixed genre elements and energies is thoroughly engrossing and…
-
Rabid Dogs 1974
Mario Bava leaves horror behind to direct "Rabid Dogs" (aka "Kidnapped"), a chase thriller that starts off briskly but soon bogs down. Opening with a robbery at a pharmaceutical company, the film is well-paced and violent, boasting bright Bava-ian blood. As the film progresses, and the titular dogs kidnap and carjack their way through the Italian countryside, the pace slows; and the film's focus becomes the squabbling between the criminal and the kidnapped. Though marked by refreshing-but-infrequent bursts of personal drama and tension, the film never regains the excitement of its opening sequence. Missing a strong narrative through-line, "Rabid Dogs" stumbles unengrossingly through its runtime.
-
Tiny Furniture 2010
Observing the life of a freshly-minted college graduate, Lena Dunham's "Tiny Furniture" wanders through the ups and downs of jobs, parents, friends, romance, and everything else the post-student world has to offer. The film is more a slice of life than a narrative derived from conflict, but it is mostly watchable and mildly engrossing. Dunham is charming, and her characters represent recognizable modern archetypes. Overall, "Tiny Furniture" is a modestly enjoyable experience.
-
Curse of the Living Dead 1975
A rambling, semi-lurid slice of French cheese, "Les Demoniaques" ("The Demoniacs" on Netflix) or "Curse of the Living Dead" sees the plotline of "I Spit on Your Grave" seasoned with a pinch of pirates and a dash of what might be demons. There are some bizarre moments that are a little fun, but the film is mostly over-acted sleaze with very little redemptive value. It is a very dull, unscary affair.
-
Iron Man 3 2013
With "Iron Man 3," Shane Black and company have crafted a fully loaded, supremely entertaining superhero spectacular. Moreover, it is a deconstructionist epic that is not afraid to make statements about its own genre and the world in which its audience lives.
While Shane Black's style of cinematic storytelling is more rollicking and lively than Jon Favreau's, this Iron Man is not necessarily a departure from the first two films. Powered by the charisma of Robert Downey, Jr., the films…
-
Iron Man 3 2013
I once imagined an alternate universe where Nicolas Cage was cast as Tony Stark.
"Iron Man 2" was never made.
"Thor" was never made.
"Captain America" was never made.
"The Avengers" was never made.
"Iron Man 3" was never made.
The "Ghost Rider" films were never made either, though nobody bemoans that.
Thankfully, we live in this universe; and, thankfully, Robert Downey, Jr. is a magnificent Tony Stark.
(I have since rewatched "Iron Man 3" and written a more traditional-style review. Feel free to give it a read.)