Tales of an Ancient Empire 2010 ½

Albert Pyun's followup to his first film, 1982's THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER. Not only hasn't Pyun learned anything about filmmaking in the past 30 years, he's actually managed to forget quite a bit. He seems to have no idea how to edit a scene or where to put the camera. The plot is incomprehensible and the acting is atrocious, especially from veterans like Michael Pare and Kevin Sorbo who aren't even pretending to put any effort into their roles. The CGI looks like it's circa 1990 and the production design would be the pride of any high school drama class. I liked SWORD - it's good, stupid fun. In contrast, TALES OF AN ANCIENT EMPIRE would qualify as a cinematic war crime if anyone had actually expected it to be any good in the first place. If you watch this, try and stay put for the 12 minute (!) end credits crawl, which Pyun needed to bring this POS to feature length.

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