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  • The Return of the Living Dead

    The Return of the Living Dead

    ★★★★½

    What a triumphant piece of cinema. This movie had absolutely everything. I almost never go for shit like this, not even a little bit. I enjoyed every single minute of Return of the Living Dead. How had I never seen this before, seriously?

    It was funny, the practical effects were impressive, and I would think of things that I wanted to happen and then they actually did. I hope those split in half dogs turn into zombies. Poof, they did.…

  • Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

    Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

    ★★★★½

    Jefferson Smith really really liked Boy Scouts.

    In today’s world, I would be awfully suspicious of such a person.

    In related news, in the documentary Weiner Congressman Anthony Weiner pulled a similar stunt holding the floor by continuously rambling. We know what happened with him. Coincidence?

    Mr. Smith Goes to Washington has been imbedded in my film consciousness as an essential classic for as long as I can remember but it had been many years since I have had a…

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  • National Lampoon’s European Vacation

    National Lampoon’s European Vacation

    ★★

    They never did get the kids right in these things. Particularly in this one.

    A Couple of smackable fucks is what we get here.

    Why was Rusty such a chick magnet? He looks like a donkey.

    If I wanted to watch a funny movie about Americans going all over the world destroying famous landmarks, I'd watch Team America.

    The bad Cobra Kai kid from KArate Kid is in this which was cool. He probably has a name but I don't…

  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★★★★

    Okay, I know the last thing everyone needs is yet another review of this brush fire.

    It's a 4 star film with some 5 star moments.

    It's pretty great but everyone just calm down already.

    I will just add that this film hit close to home with a few points and felt as if Chazelle had not only thrust a knife into me, but then twisted it. I cannot say that when I view this film under different circumstances whether it will lower or raise my opinion of it. The craft is all there however.