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  • Quills

    Quills 2000

    ★★★½ Watched 25 May, 2015

    If nothing else this will wash the taste of Fifty Shades of Grey out of my mouth.

    That didn't come out the way i wanted it to.

    And now i've done it again.

  • Stripped

    Stripped 2014

    ★★½ Watched 25 May, 2015

    On Netflix.

  • Tomorrowland

    Tomorrowland 2015

    ★★★★ Watched 25 May, 2015

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "Wanna go?" Yeah. Yeah I did. But where we end up going is not really what was expected, and for a lot of people apparently, what was wanted.

    Tomorrowland is 4/5 of a movie, and the star missing is for that missing piece. Brad Bird has made an intelligent film once again centered around exceptional characters (we'll get to that), but for the first time, he puts all the stock into the build and is content to stop short of…

  • Fifty Shades of Grey

    Fifty Shades of Grey 2015

    ★½ Watched 24 May, 2015

    "I don't do romance"
    (Proceeds to do 5 times as many romantic things as non-romantic things)

    So this wasn't nearly as unwatchable as I was expecting, and in fact, I can see the skeleton of a good story and thematic possibilities. But it's ultimately drab, shallow, and especially clumsy with soundtrack choices. I will say Dakota Johnson was surprisingly solid as a screen presence who (unless this is a black mark on a career? I don't know) could be in something a lot better if given the chance.

  • The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

    The Adventures of Baron Munchausen 1988

    ★★★★ Watched 24 May, 2015

    Terry Gilliam's Avengers.

  • Jen Kirkman: I'm Gonna Die Alone (And I Feel Fine)

    Jen Kirkman: I'm Gonna Die Alone (And I Feel Fine) 2015

    ★★★★ Watched 22 May, 2015

    newly added Netflix special. Have known Jen Kirkman for years through various podcasts and other LA comic projects, and to be honest, she didn't stand out so much in those. But on her own here puts out a very strong effort.

  • Brave New Girl

    Brave New Girl 2004

    ½ Watched 21 May, 2015

    Britney Spears wrote a movie with her mom.


    I don't need to tell you any more. You're now either finding a way to watch it immediately, tearing your hair out in anger, or wondering how someone who doesn't know how to read wrote a movie.

  • Won't Back Down

    Won't Back Down 2012

    ★★★ Watched 21 May, 2015

    Has a reputation for being like a TV movie. Sort of yes, especially in scenes without our leads (there is a large gap in headliner talent vs. supporting) but sort of no, in the sense that stories like this, especially carried by women, tend to get looked down upon as unworthy of cinema. It looks good.

    Also has a reputation for being anti-teacher, anti-union, which isn't fair either. I think this came out during the Wisconsin stuff, so I can…

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road 2015

    ★★★ Watched 15 May, 2015

    Fury Road is a decent 2 hour trailer for an amazing 2 minute movie.

    Which is a backhanded way of saying I liked it and would watch it again, but am a little befuddled by the hype and the degree of special pleading for so much of what I found missing. I've been struggling to make sense of why I couldn't connect with this for a few days while others think this is revolutionary, and so here comes the speculation…

  • Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief

    Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief 2015

    ★★★½ Rewatched 17 May, 2015

    On first watch this was solid but felt like it only scratched the surface. Then I read the book which is far superior to this film. And then I watched this again.

    Doing so sort of improves the movie in the sense that I'm now familiar with every story, and am mentally filling in between the lines. It also feels more dense now with information than it did before. It's not enough to raise a rating, but it's just one of those funny things that familiarity will do.

  • Pitch Perfect 2

    Pitch Perfect 2 2015

    ★★★★ Watched 14 May, 2015

    The first Pitch Perfect is a pretty typical performance/sports movie template that managed to play in the margins very very well, and make the most of the template itself. Essentially Glee, but not shitty.

    They very easily could have just done the same thing. They didn't. For the first half of Pitch Perfect 2, if not longer, it's all margins. Individual stories for several characters that must eventually have to merge into the unified international competition story template they are…

  • Spawn

    Spawn 1997

    ★★★ Rewatched 14 May, 2015

    Watched for Soundtrack Of Your Life #13, coming soon on rowthree.com

    Short and dirty: I remembered this as being unwatchable.

    It's not. It's in the Showgirls zone of bad-good and good-good, and sleazy as hell. I'd dare say there's a solid screenplay at its core. The acting is charmingly bad, but with Leguizamo I think he's fully aware of what he's doing and I really enjoy it. The effects are a mix of bad for its time and good for…