I was never going to like this.
Because, sure, I like the cast a hell of a lot, but I have a well documented disdain for movies that change the setting of Shakespeare but not the text (it's just so damn lazy, guys), and if I didn't like it when Baz Luhrmann and Paul Rudd did it, there's no way I'll like it when Joss Whedon and co are doing it.
And even then, this movie's just such... nothing. It…
I liked this movie more when it was called HOT FUZZ. Hell, I liked this movie better when it was called THE OTHER GUYS. Actually, can I just talk about THE OTHER GUYS? That's such a great movie. No? I have to review 21 JUMP STREET? Fine.
Roger Ebert once said that he loved reviewing great movies, and he loved reviewing awful movies, but he hated reviewing mediocre movies. I disagree. I love digging into mediocre films. I love exploring…
This movie is basically Sam Raimi grabbing bland, mainstream horror by the collar and proceeding to spend 100 minutes kicking the shit out of it.
And it's fucking awesome.
Incidentally, it also works as a terrific allegory for bulimia. Think about how much of the horror scenes revolve around the witch vomiting on Christine or shoving her hand down Christine's mouth or various other substances entering and exiting mouths. And think about how many random, out of nowhere mentions we…