First a disclaimer, I hate jazz.

Caught this short film last night, and was absolutely bowled over by it. A brilliant story, elegant cinematography, perfect performances, and just so deliberately 'quirky'. But not deliberately 'quirky' in a Zach Braff way. I didn't wish for anyone involved in this to fall down a flight of stairs. This is deliberately 'quirky' in a good way.

Now for the jazz.

This film has jazz in it, and as well all know jazz is…

What the hell is this time dilating mess of a film?

I'll grant you it is occasionally funny, but only very infrequently. We'll discus why that infrequency is such an issue in a moment. But first the good, of which there is some, although statistically there isn't.

There is a moment near the beginning when Rob Sitch is on screen that it shines. And there is a scene that runs over the credits that's kind of okay too.

But the…

I was genuinely surprised at how endearing a film this is.  

Tower Heist doesn't aim particularly high but it does tread it's familiar ground with an elegant confidence.  It's a nuts and bolts heist movie for sure, to the point of being utilitarian, but it also has the air of an honest craftsman about it.

Ben Stiller plays Ben Stiller, from all those other Ben Stiller movies. Eddie Murphy is the guy from 'Beverly Hills Cop'.  Matthew Broderick is the…

Well ths is an interesting one. Glorious art direction brings the ruins of a crumbling hyper-christian state vividly to life. Colossal statues and industrial cathedrals litter a futuristic wasteland, which is full of vampires for some reason. Anyway the point is that this all sounds great, and it is great, and so the film should be great right?

Nooooooo.

For every beautiful landscape there are two of the dumbest dialogue lines of dialogue you've ever heard. And there are heaps…