Watched Aug 11, 2012
Daniel Jensen’s review:
Just terrible in the same way so many recent Disney films have been. Too much plot and too much spectacle makes for a deadening experience. And for God's sake, if one is going to remake/borrow a movie, choose something better than Avatar, which had nothing good going for it plot-wise.
Here's a thing: James Cameron waited a decade to make Avatar because the 3D technology wasn't quite right, allegedly. Couldn't Disney have waited until some decent gravity simulating software was written so that long jumps, which are thematically, and symbolically the crucial element of the movie, look tolerable?
Because in John Carter the jumping looks silly and stupid, both. That is, though, indicative of how far the movie's reach exceeds its grasp, as nearly all of the animation falls short or reality, and the sets sometimes look, no kidding, more primitive than those from the 1954 20000 Leagues Under the Sea, which is clearly the secondary inspiration.
That it is dedicated to the memory of Steve Jobs is both embarrassing and appropriate for both entities.