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  • Race to Witch Mountain

    Race to Witch Mountain 2009

    ★★ Watched 04 Jul, 2016

    The original "Witch Mountain" films: heroic kids discover and develop their own abilities, end up saving the day through sheer cleverness and hard work independently.

    This new "Witch Mountain” film: The Rock single-handedly saves everybody on his own, and the kids spend half the film’s running length off-screen not really doing much of anything at all.

    Sigh….

  • The BFG

    The BFG 2016

    ★★★★★ Watched 30 Jun, 2016

    I'll hopefully write a proper review soon, but for now let me just say that this film is simply scrumpdillyumptious! (Also, farting corgis are really funny.)

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  • Hook

    Hook 1991

    ★★★★½ Rewatched 04 Mar, 2012 8

    One of those rare cinematic curiosities where you can tell instantly how old someone was when they first saw the film based upon their reaction to it today.

    It goes like this: almost without exception, those who first saw Hook as an adult will—by virtue of being a horrible grown-up—completely and utterly loathe the film, detesting everything it represents about cinema today. They will deride Hook as bloated and indulgent; treacly Spielbergian sentimentality run amuck; and, worst of all—*gasp*—totally made-up,…

  • Man of Steel

    Man of Steel 2013

    ½ Watched 25 Jun, 2013 5

    Ah, the summer movie season... *BUILDING SMASH*

    There's noth-*COLLAPSING TOWER*-ing quite *SMASH* like the *CAR HURLING TOWARD US* good old *ENTIRE SKYSCRAPER FLOOR WIPED OUT* Hollywood *BAD GUYS DECIMATES 7-ELEVEN* summer *MASSIVE GAS-FUELED FIRE ERUPTION* blockbuster *EXPLOSION* treatment *EVEN BIGGER EXPLOSION* to make you apprec-*FALLING BUILDING WAY TOO CLOSE TO OUR HERO'S GIRLFRIEND FOR COMFORT*-iate a fant-*FIREBALL*-astic *CAR SMASH* story *EXPLOSION* like *MINI-EXPLOSION* Super-*HERO SAVES INNOCENT BYSTANDER JUST IN TIME*-man. It's great, *HERO THROWN THROUGH THREE BUILDINGS* isn't it?

    *AWKWARD,…