🎶 Spider-Man, Spider-Man, doing the thi–
... wait, uhhh... wrong Marvel movie. Let me restart:
🎶 Captain America Man, Captain America Man, doing the things a... 'merica can? 🎶
Ah, scratch this — I'm gonna go watch Thor. At least he doesn't have a catchy theme song.
Ah, summer... *BUILDING SMASH*
There's noth-*COLLAPSING TOWER*-ing like the *CAR HURLING TOWARD US* good old *ENTIRE SKYSCRAPER FLOOR WIPED OUT* Hollywood *BAD GUYS DECIMATES 7-ELEVEN* summer *MASSIVE GAS-FUELED FIRE ERUPTION* blockbuster *EXPLOSION* treatment *EVEN BIGGER EXPLOSION* to make you apprec-*FALLING BUILDING WAY TOO CLOSE TO OUR HERO'S GIRLFRIEND FOR COMFORT*-iate a fant-*FIREBALL*-astic *CAR SMASH* story *EXPLOSION* like *MINI-EXPLOSION* Super-*HERO SAVES INNOCENT BYSTANDER JUST IN TIME*-man. It's great, *HERO THROWN THROUGH THREE BUILDINGS* isn't it?
*FIERY EXPLOSION* *FLAMING INFERO* *BIG CHUNKS…
One of those rare cinematic curiosities where you can tell instantly how old someone was when they first saw the film based upon their reaction to it today.
It goes like this: almost without exception, everyone who first saw Hook as an adult will—by virtue of being a horrible grown-up—completely and utterly loathe the film as well as everything it represents. They will deride it as bloated and indulgent; treacly Spielbergian sentimentality run amuck; and finally... *gasp*... complete and utter…