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  • Avengers: Age of Ultron

    Avengers: Age of Ultron 2015

    ★★★ Watched 23 Jun, 2015

    Another day, another "superheroes literally save the world from destruction" movie from Marvel.

    C'mon, guys — if you don't have any new stories to tell, can't you at least go find another planet to nearly destroy? Why does it always have to be earth?

    And on that note, can't we at least once get a movie where the stakes aren't so apocalyptically high? What about a movie where Iron Man tries to steal Thor's sandwich. Can't we just get a movie about that? I would pay good money to watch a movie that's simply about Iron Man trying to steal Thor's sandwich.

  • Safety Not Guaranteed

    Safety Not Guaranteed 2012

    ★★★★ Rewatched 17 Jun, 2015

    I don't think I gave this film enough credit the first time around, on account of the, you know, lack of actual time travel and Back to the Future-y stuff.

    But you know what? Put those expectations aside, and this can actually be a truly wonderful and poignant film to watch.

    I've been feeling particularly old lately — and very mopey about it in general — and this time around, something about this film really stuck with me. The promise…

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  • Hook

    Hook 1991

    ★★★★½ Rewatched 04 Mar, 2012 6

    One of those rare cinematic curiosities where you can tell instantly how old someone was when they first saw the film based upon their reaction to it today.

    It goes like this: almost without exception, those who first saw Hook as an adult will—by virtue of being a horrible grown-up—completely and utterly loathe the film, detesting everything it represents about cinema today. They will deride Hook as bloated and indulgent; treacly Spielbergian sentimentality run amuck; and, worst of all—*gasp*—totally made-up,…

  • Man of Steel

    Man of Steel 2013

    ★½ Watched 25 Jun, 2013 5

    Ah, summer... *BUILDING SMASH*

    There's noth-*COLLAPSING TOWER*-ing like the *CAR HURLING TOWARD US* good old *ENTIRE SKYSCRAPER FLOOR WIPED OUT* Hollywood *BAD GUYS DECIMATES 7-ELEVEN* summer *MASSIVE GAS-FUELED FIRE ERUPTION* blockbuster *EXPLOSION* treatment *EVEN BIGGER EXPLOSION* to make you apprec-*FALLING BUILDING WAY TOO CLOSE TO OUR HERO'S GIRLFRIEND FOR COMFORT*-iate a fant-*FIREBALL*-astic *CAR SMASH* story *EXPLOSION* like *MINI-EXPLOSION* Super-*HERO SAVES INNOCENT BYSTANDER JUST IN TIME*-man. It's great, *HERO THROWN THROUGH THREE BUILDINGS* isn't it?

    *FIERY EXPLOSION* *FLAMING INFERO* *BIG CHUNKS…