Ehhhhhhhh… Why… WHYYY, Netflix?! I blame you for suggesting this when I wanted to watch something at the end of a long day which would require absolutely no thought or attention whatsoever on my part. I mean, I guess it does fit that bill, but… I dunno, Netflix. Couldn't you at least get better at suggesting good bad movies for me to watch in these kinds of circumstances, and not bad bad movies like this one?
Sigh. Netflix, you are a disappointment. (On the other hand, you have gotten REALLY good at predicting what I'm likely to rate a movie as… Almost spookily good, in fact.)
One of those rare cinematic curiosities where you can tell instantly how old someone was when they first saw the film based upon their reaction to it today.
It goes like this: almost without exception, those who first saw Hook as an adult will—by virtue of being a horrible grown-up—completely and utterly loathe the film, while detesting everything it represents about cinema today. They will deride Hook as bloated and indulgent; treacly Spielbergian sentimentality run amuck; and, worst of all—*gasp*—utter,…
Ah, summer... *BUILDING SMASH*
There's noth-*COLLAPSING TOWER*-ing like the *CAR HURLING TOWARD US* good old *ENTIRE SKYSCRAPER FLOOR WIPED OUT* Hollywood *BAD GUYS DECIMATES 7-ELEVEN* summer *MASSIVE GAS-FUELED FIRE ERUPTION* blockbuster *EXPLOSION* treatment *EVEN BIGGER EXPLOSION* to make you apprec-*FALLING BUILDING WAY TOO CLOSE TO OUR HERO'S GIRLFRIEND FOR COMFORT*-iate a fant-*FIREBALL*-astic *CAR SMASH* story *EXPLOSION* like *MINI-EXPLOSION* Super-*HERO SAVES INNOCENT BYSTANDER JUST IN TIME*-man. It's great, *HERO THROWN THROUGH THREE BUILDINGS* isn't it?
*FIERY EXPLOSION* *FLAMING INFERO* *BIG CHUNKS…