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Olympus Has Fallen 2013
They establish that the terrorists have primed the White House windows to explode if anyone tries to break through them. And then NO ONE GETS THROWN THROUGH A WINDOW.
Verdict: Rip-off.
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Buzkashi Boys 2012
A well-made if predictable film about fate and friendship. I could guess pretty much every beat before it happened, but it's full of well-earned emotion. Makes great use of its location, really giving a feel for the local color.
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Zero Dark Thirty 2012
Deserves all the attention it's gotten, if not more. Some fantastically tense sequences mix brilliantly with a long form examination of the hunt for Bin Laden and what we did to find him. Also, it doesn't endorse torture, numbnuts.
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Silver Linings Playbook 2012
It's okay. As soon as Bradley Cooper's character started ranting about Hemingway and happy endings, I knew exactly how it would end. Couldn't anticipate the characters pretty much making up the climax for themselves, though. It tacks a very Hollywood everything's-good-now ending onto a story that tries to be a realistic look at mental illness, and as a result feels pretty fakey overall. Russell ain't got no edge anymore.
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The Simpsons: The Longest Daycare 2012
It's alright. I laughed a few times. I can't compare it to how the show is now, since I haven't watched it in years. Doesn't really make much of its setting. Also, the animation is pretty stiff and lifeless.
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Adam and Dog 2012
Gorgeous animation, and a great testament to how awesome dogs are. Has a weird "women ruin everything" grain in it though, which may be unintentional.
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Head Over Heels 2012
Does a great job of connecting its central gimmick (husband and wife live on the floor and ceiling) to a resonant thematic point (bridging separations through love). Nice, homespun animation.
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Fresh Guacamole 2012
Super-duper cute and clever. It also doesn't really mean anything. But it sure is a nifty little film.
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Rising from Ashes 2012
There's a moment in this film where the white American coach of the Rwandan biking team talks about how much he can relate to his cyclists, since he's suffered, too. His father left him at a young age. Um, dude, that sucks and all, but THESE GUYS' FAMILIES WERE HACKED TO DEATH WITH MACHETES. Come on. Also, Whitaker's narration is terrible.
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Bad Boys II 2003
As far as I'm concerned, it defies any attempt at rating it. Is it good? Is it bad? It is both - and neither. It is an entity beyond our ken, a Lovecraftian monstrosity of racism, sociopathy, incoherence, and bloat. But it is also so, so, so much fun. It is, for better or worse, the Michael Bayest movie ever made.
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Gangster Squad 2013
Goofy fun. It's been called a cartoon version of The Untouchables, which is essentially correct. Ruben Fleischer's Itchy & Scratchy sensibilities that were on full display in Zombieland and 30 Minutes or Less resurfaces at time, and I wish it did so more often. The movie's at it's best when it embraces being ridiculous but fun. It's the dumb-pop version of the 50's. Too often, though, it's bogged down in poorly-shot action or overseriousness ("Guys, what if WE'VE BECOME WHAT WE ARE FIGHTING?!?!?").