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  • Dune

    Dune

    ★★★

    Things I gleefully shouted during this movie:
    -"Toto did the soundtrack? I think we know why this is a cult classic, people"
    -"It's Patrick Stewart! I forgot he was in this!"
    -"Why? WHY DO THEY HAVE VACUUM CLEANERS?"
    -"It's her dick in a box! Wait - it's her box in a box! BOXCEPTION!"
    -"Dad, I don't want to go to Arrakis! I have ARRAKISPHOBIA!"
    -"PUG!"
    -"It's official, ginger people ARE evil!"
    -"I am conflicted about my evilness, boohoohoo"
    -"Father, I…

  • Cliffhanger

    Cliffhanger

    ★★★½

    Class. V impressed with the climbing, even if most of it was done by a stunt double. Yes, you'll probably predict everything from start to finish, but this is a very watchable and entertaining number.

    Drinking game suggestions, should you need them:
    Drink every time
    -Stallone removes an item of clothing
    -the camera pans back to show how tiny Stallone is compared to the MAJESTY of NATURE
    -a henchman dies
    -Stallone looks sad
    -someone calls someone else a "motherf***er"
    -wildlife…

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  • Single White Female

    Single White Female

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    So, things we should learn from this film:
    - never get a housemate while on the rebound
    - never let your girlfriend go down on you until you have proof it actually is your girlfriend
    - don't get a puppy if you live in a high rise (cats are fine though)
    - if your friend is copying your style she may be trying to turn you into her literal twin
    - Jennifer Jason Leigh is NOT, I repeat NOT, Ally…

  • The Lesson

    The Lesson

    ★★★★

    This was great: I was gripped all the way through and Margita Gosheva is excellent. Also, lessons to be learned:
    - never take out a loan
    - from anyone
    - ever
    - that's basically it