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  • Man Down

    Man Down 2016

    ★½ Watched 02 Dec, 2016 6

    Some people struggle to find sympathy for Shia LaBeouf, a talented young actor whose career has so violently careened from studio blockbusters to outsider art projects that it often seems like he’s trolling the entire planet, but to watch him in Dito Montiel’s disastrous “Man Down” — to see how hard he throws himself even into a movie that nothing else going for it — is to recognize once and for all that LaBeouf is a performer who never shows…

  • The Founder

    The Founder 2016

    ★½ Watched 30 Nov, 2016 16

    "what if THE SOCIAL NETWORK... but about big macs?"

    yeah sure i guess that could be interesting.

    "okay great let me just write a script on this napkin and hire the guy behind THE BLIND SIDE to direct it."

    wait what no

    "your awards screener is already in the mail"

    does it at least come with fries?

    "no, only a very funny joke about how you should consider michael keaton for best actor. now get out of my office."

    THE END.

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  • Carol

    Carol 2015

    ★★★★★ Watched 27 Aug, 2015 21

    probably as close as I'll ever come to knowing what it feels like to find Jesus.

    ---------------------------------

    UPDATE: i found jesus. Carol was better.


    (longer thoughts in the fall, no doubt)

  • Deadpool

    Deadpool 2016

    ★½ Watched 07 Feb, 2016 103

    not a parody, just a cheap superhero movie that ceaselessly reminds you it knows how lazy & stupid it is.

    you can't afford to make a pure superhero subversion, because it has to cost $$$ in order to look the part. but Deadpool also had to be super inexpensive in order to finance a hard-R movie about a juvenile 4th-rate superhero with a tangential relationship to the X-Men... so it's like a 7-10 split and the film throws the ball straight…