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  • Avengers: Age of Ultron

    Avengers: Age of Ultron 2015

    ★★★★ Watched 23 Apr, 2015

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    If this film had just been ok I would have been like Avengers, more like Averagers, am I right? And you guys would be like OOOOOH! And I would be like, lol ikr. But Jeff Weeding did a good one! Hulking retard man smoshed, Captain Propaganda USA'd that shit, Thorne was all like topless in a magic pond, Iron Giant did the cheeky Sherlock sexy fun, Green Arrow was in it, The Scarlett Witch was by Mary Kate and Ashley…

  • The Spy Who Came in from the Cold

    The Spy Who Came in from the Cold 1965

    ★★½ Watched 22 Apr, 2015 3

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    It didn't even look cold when he was outside.

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  • 2001: A Space Odyssey

    2001: A Space Odyssey 1968

    Rewatched 12 Jan, 2014 92

    8 A.M. Sunday, 12th of January, 2014. HAL'S birthday. I'm tired as fuck.

    HAL.

    IBM.

    HAL/IBM. HAL=IBM. IBM=HAL.

    H+1 = I
    A+1 = B
    L+1 = M

    So HAL is indisputably IBM. Just go one letter on in the alphabet from H, A and L and you get I, B and M. 

    But what is IBM? A computer company Kubrick had a grudge against? Or are we just missing a "T" in the greatest riddle known to mankind? Confused? Allow…

  • Only Lovers Left Alive

    Only Lovers Left Alive 2013

    ★★★★ Watched 15 Feb, 2014 55

    To the posh lady I had the misfortune of sitting beside at the Tyneside Cinema tonight who ate her various snacks as loudly as humanly possible, who at one point turned to her partner and said, "A skunk!" as a skunk walked past on-screen, who then fell asleep and took up all of my fucking arm rest, I have six words of wisdom for you that I think you should take on board:

    Fuck you, you stupid ignorant cunt.