RSS feed for Mel
  • Blue Ruin 2013

    ★★★ Watched 20 Nov, 2014

    Having Buzz from Home Alone 1 & 2 in a pivotal role is easily the movie's greatest feat. Otherwise it's a fairly standard violence-begets-violence revenge drama which occasionally threatens to have a little fun before quickly veering off on another dour tangent. I thought Cold in July was a far more adventurous and unpredictable take on the revenge thriller.

  • Dumb and Dumber To 2014

    ★★★ Watched 18 Nov, 2014

    Ineptly made in nearly every way and featuring an overworked script which, at times, feels decidedly un-Farrelly (Sean Anders & John Morris who wrote We're The Millers and Hot Tub Time Machine are also credited and their fingerprints are felt all too often on some of the jokes), Dumb and Dumber To still manages to skirt by on good will and a handful of genuinely great gags which feel like classic Farrelly Brothers. The ratio of jokes which work to those that don't is probably close to 30-70, but the 30% that do are the kind of from-the-gut laughs you don't usually get from modern comedies.

  • Hellbound: Hellraiser II 1988

    ★★★½ Watched 02 Nov, 2014

    "Hellbound and down, chained up and truckin',
    We're gonna do what they say can't be done
    We've got a long way to go and a short time to get there
    I'm Hellbound, just watch ol' Butterball run."
    - Jerry Reed singing the Hellraiser II theme song


    The gradual slope in which a horror series turns silly becomes a slide with Hellbound which, after recapping the first film in hilariously specific detail, drags all of the characters into the surprisingly colourful…

  • Hellraiser: Revelations 2011

    ½ Watched 02 Nov, 2014

    An instant must-watch as soon as I discovered it was:

    A) Filmed in 11 days
    B) Less than 70 minutes long
    C) Made exclusively so the Weinsteins could cling to the Hellraiser rights.

    Revelations lived up to the expectations I had for it and then some. Not since the heady days of FMV Sega CD games has this many hundreds of dollars been casually thrown into the production of visual art. When even Doug Bradley doesn't return to play Pinhead…

  • Hellraiser: Inferno 2000

    Watched 02 Nov, 2014

    A bizarre curio made by Sinister/Deliver Us From Evil/Doctor Strange director Scott Derrickson whose passion for horror seems to only be matched by his utter disdain for the Hellraiser franchise. This is a cheap, excruciatingly dull attempt at Jacobs Ladder-ian psychological horror which has absolutely nothing to do with the Hellraiser name except for a few creatures which vaguely look like Cenobites and a fleeting appearance by Doug Bradley playing a character which is Pinhead in appearance only. It goes against everything which makes Hellraiser interesting in the first place and worse, it goes against it in service of a beyond-tedious and predictable morality tale.

  • Cold Comes the Night 2013

    Watched 24 Oct, 2014

    Bryan Cranston follows up Breaking Bad with a movie which really puts the "no!!!!!!!" in noir. It's like an alternate timeline version of No Country For Old Men where the novel was written by Dean Koontz and the film adaptation was done by Troy Duffy.

  • Tim's Vermeer 2013

    ★★★★★ Watched 07 Oct, 2014

    "I've never used one of these before." - Tim Jenison using a chemicals mixer for the first time and finding a cure for all diseases.

    The best documentary made about unconventional artistic process since that episode of How's It Made I saw where they showed how q-tips were beautifully crafted.

  • Sin City: A Dame to Kill For 2014

    ★★½ Watched 28 Aug, 2014

    Dull but inoffensively so. Worth watching just to see Stacey Keach show up for a single scene wearing makeup which makes him look like one of those troll brothers from Nothing But Trouble.

  • Lethal Weapon 2 1989

    ★★★★ Rewatched 26 Aug, 2014

    When our civilization is on the brink of destruction and we begin packing a time capsule full of art to leave for future generations, I hope and pray that a clip of the cop jumping onto the exploding diving board from this movie is included within it. It's our crowning achievement.

  • The Expendables 3 2014

    ★★★ Watched 21 Aug, 2014

    Banderas and Snipes steal the show. Harrson Ford mumbles "Drummer's in the house!" as a horrible CGI helicopter swoops down onto the screen. It all ends with a bizarre karaoke rendition of Neil Young's "Old Man".

    Highly recommended.

  • Texas Killing Fields 2011

    ★½ Watched 17 Aug, 2014

    A True Detective-esque mystery about two detectives in the south investigating a series of murders produced by Michael Mann and directed by his daughter Ami. What could go wrong?

    Pretty much everything apparently. Despite a great setting and a couple of competent action scenes, Texas Killing Fields is an incomprehensible crime thriller which does nothing new in a genre that the Mann name is synonymous with.

    It's unclear how the movie was allowed to get so muddled. Characters integral to…

  • Lucy 2014

    ★★★★ Watched 25 Jul, 2014

    Imagine if The Transporter became unstuck in time and then traveled back to the dawn of man as depicted in 2001 and dropkicked the monolith onto someone. That, in a nutshell, is Lucy. It offers all of the pleasures of Luc Besson's b-movie action schlock but then adds in a dash of absurd arthouse experimentation which takes it to a whole other level of strange.