RSS feed for Mel
  • A Walk Among the Tombstones 2014

    ★★★½ Watched 25 Jan, 2015

    "What gave me away?"
    "Everything. You're a weirdo."

  • Blackhat 2015

    ★★★★ Watched 24 Jan, 2015

    Michael Mann remakes Goldfinger as a brutal, paranoid thriller in which green text on a screen is as deadly as a sharpened screwdriver.

  • Frank 2014

    ★★★★★ Watched 10 Jan, 2015

    The 2 minutes we hear of the Soronprfbs' album genuinely sounds better than most real albums in their entirety.

  • A Million Ways to Die in the West 2014

    ½ Watched 07 Jan, 2015

    Let me now begin my 400,000-word dissertation on why Dumb & Dumber To rules and A Million Ways to Die in the West drools.

    16th century philosopher Desiderius Erasmus once said of poop jokes that...

  • Dumb and Dumber To 2014

    ★★★½ Rewatched 03 Jan, 2015

    I enjoy this movie a great deal.

  • Deceptive Practice: The Mysteries and Mentors of Ricky Jay 2012

    ★★ Watched 26 Dec, 2014

    Dull documentary which just makes you wish you were watching one of the David Mamet-directed magic specials they keep cutting to every few minutes.

    I also want to take this opportunity to scold the Bond producers for casting Ricky as a henchman in Tomorrow Never Dies and not having him throw a single playing card at James Bond. What a missed opportunity.

  • Once Upon a Time in America 1984

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 25 Dec, 2014

    *251-minute extended cut*

    It's nice to have additional footage and it doesn't make the movie any less of a masterpiece but none of the new material is essential and occasionally -- especially in an exposition-heavy Treat Williams/James Wood scene at the end -- reveals too much of the film's ethereal mysteries. The 229-minute cut remains the definitive version.

  • The Immigrant 2013

    ★★★★★ Watched 27 Nov, 2014

    Whatever James Gray did or didn't do to have The Immigrant buried in a Summer release with almost no chance of any real award recognition was worth it if it resulted in a movie this good.

  • Blue Ruin 2014

    ★★★ Watched 20 Nov, 2014

    Having Buzz from Home Alone 1 & 2 in a pivotal role is easily the movie's greatest feat. Otherwise it's a fairly standard violence-begets-violence revenge drama which occasionally threatens to have a little fun before quickly veering off on another dour tangent. I thought Cold in July was a far more adventurous and unpredictable take on the revenge thriller.

  • Dumb and Dumber To 2014

    ★★★ Watched 18 Nov, 2014

    Ineptly made in nearly every way and featuring an overworked script which, at times, feels decidedly un-Farrelly (Sean Anders & John Morris who wrote We're The Millers and Hot Tub Time Machine are also credited and their fingerprints are felt all too often on some of the jokes), Dumb and Dumber To still manages to skirt by on good will and a handful of genuinely great gags which feel like classic Farrelly Brothers. The ratio of jokes which work to those that don't is probably close to 30-70, but the 30% that do are the kind of from-the-gut laughs you don't usually get from modern comedies.

  • Hellbound: Hellraiser II 1988

    ★★★½ Watched 02 Nov, 2014

    "Hellbound and down, chained up and truckin',
    We're gonna do what they say can't be done
    We've got a long way to go and a short time to get there
    I'm Hellbound, just watch ol' Butterball run."
    - Jerry Reed singing the Hellraiser II theme song

    The gradual slope in which a horror series turns silly becomes a slide with Hellbound which, after recapping the first film in hilariously specific detail, drags all of the characters into the surprisingly colourful…

  • Hellraiser: Revelations 2011

    ½ Watched 02 Nov, 2014

    An instant must-watch as soon as I discovered it was:

    A) Filmed in 11 days
    B) Less than 70 minutes long
    C) Made exclusively so the Weinsteins could cling to the Hellraiser rights.

    Revelations lived up to the expectations I had for it and then some. Not since the heady days of FMV Sega CD games has this many hundreds of dollars been casually thrown into the production of visual art. When even Doug Bradley doesn't return to play Pinhead…