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  • Red Lights

    Red Lights 2012

    ★★★ Watched 06 Dec, 2016

    This would've been a great 30-minute episode of Amazing Stories in 1986 but is only an OK 119-minute movie in 2012.

  • Millions

    Millions 2004

    ★★★★ Watched 30 Nov, 2016

    Given that it's the same stumbled-upon-stolen-money plot as Shallow Grave, it's a shame they didn't throw in a homage where the kids put a toy power drill into someone's forehead.

  • A Life Less Ordinary

    A Life Less Ordinary 1997

    ★★★★ Rewatched 29 Nov, 2016

    A movie so ahead of its time that there will never actually be a time when it makes sense to anyone but Danny Boyle. It's an unfiltered look into his thought process which somehow sees bloody gunfights, metaphorical game shows, musical numbers and a claymation Maury Chaykin as rational ideas which can coexist together. This is a romantic comedy in which, within the first 15 minutes, the two romantic leads have both shot someone. It is a cult classic too strange to even have a cult form around it.

  • Shallow Grave

    Shallow Grave 1994

    ★★★★½ Watched 29 Nov, 2016

    "If it sounds like I'm being killed, call the police."

  • The Beach

    The Beach 2000

    ★★½ Rewatched 28 Nov, 2016

    DiCaprio envisioning himself as a video game character which is soundtracked by Blur's "On Your Own" is the only sequence worthy of the Boyle highlight reel.

  • Zoolander 2

    Zoolander 2 2016

    Watched 23 Nov, 2016

    Four credited writers to come up with a Susan Boyle cameo.

  • Trance

    Trance 2013

    ★★★ Watched 08 Nov, 2016

    WHAT

  • Trainspotting

    Trainspotting 1996

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 03 Nov, 2016

    "Well, at one time, you've got it, and then you lose it, and it's gone forever. All walks of life. George Best, for example. Had it, lost it. Or David Bowie or Lou Reed...All I'm trying to do is help you understand that 'The Name of The Rose' is merely a blip on an otherwise uninterrupted downward trajectory."

    One can only hope that Trainspotting 2 will be a clever revisitation of Sick Boy's unifying theory of life and not just a confirmation of its central idea.

  • The Neon Demon

    The Neon Demon 2016

    ★★★★★ Watched 19 Oct, 2016

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Beauty is in the eye is in the stomach of the beholder.

  • The Magnificent Seven

    The Magnificent Seven 2016

    ★★★★ Watched 25 Sep, 2016 1

    Thanks to a script co-written by Nic Pizzolatto which reinterprets the original material as dime novel pulp (including amazing new character names like Goodnight Robicheaux and Bartholomew Bogue) and solid unfussy direction from Antoine Fuqua, The Magnificent Seven is old fashioned in all the right ways when compared to its modern popcorn entertainment counterparts. It has no desire to set up a franchise, respects its characters enough to put them in genuine life-threatening danger and delivers a ton of memorable…

  • Blair Witch

    Blair Witch 2016

    Watched 17 Sep, 2016

    It's too bad that the found footage Wingard and Barrett were handed to edit into a movie was so garish and uninspired when compared to the classic original but obviously they had no control over what these dumb kids were recording. They didn't bring anything new to the table with their final minutes. One can only hope that the recordings of some more creatively ambitious dead people are unearthed next time.

  • Bowfinger

    Bowfinger 1999

    ★★★★ Rewatched 08 Sep, 2016

    Chubby Rain looks better than some of the actual movies which got released this summer.