"I'm a foolish old man who's been drawn into a wild goose chase by a harpie in trousers...and a nincompoop." - Rooster Cogburn
Despite watching this on the screen of an iPod Classic on a minibus to Rievaulx Abbey...
Despite having Nobby screeching such classic songs like Hit Me Baby One More Time, More Than A Woman and pretty-much the entire soundtrack to High School Musical...
True Grit shines.
On the whole, it's a masterpiece, but what elevates it above…
In the beginning there was only man and nature.
Men came bearing crosses and drove the heathen
To the fringes of the earth.
Damn. How about that for an improvement? From half a star to three and a half stars. Unheard of. I think this is because I went in with a more open mind. My main reasoning for hating this first time round was the fact that the DVD cover advertised Viking warfare on a massive scale, and the…
"Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!" - Shaun
I've just realised how much this film relies on repetition. This is no bad thing, considering how much skill it requires to pull it off. On the surface and on first watch, you admire the fast pace and gory action, and most of the one-liners fly over your head. But on re-watches, there's many, many recurring lines that are funny for no reason. Example: The phrase "17" is repeated twice in completely irreverent situations. It amuses me. I don't know why.
The best slice of fried gold from Britain, that's for sure.
"Merry Christmas, you assholes!" - Johnny Blaze
I can think of worse ways to spend 90 minutes. With exceedingly low expectations, and a constant referral back to the horrifically average 2007 original, I was prepared for the worst. But in my eyes, the Cage is never boring. And this is the Cagiest Cage film I've seen in a while.
Dripping with his own personal brand of madness, the film is far from good, but it's so over-the-top and mental that…
"I grew up in Kansas, General. I'm about American as it gets." - Kal-El
I think it would be sensible to discuss expectations first. Man of Steel is NOT the greatest film ever made, like I hoped and dreamed it would be. It has its flaws. Various ones, at that. However, it is executed with such style and panache, that it's hard to criticise it. It is a blockbuster of insanely epic proportions, from start to finish. With non-stop action…
Jesse: This is gorgeous...
Celine: Yeah, this is beautiful...
Ah, these two. Such sweethearts. I wouldn't mind spending eternity with them. Watching them talk, and talk, and talk, and talk...and talk. Such normal, naturalistic talk, too. This isn't your average rom-com dialogue, that frequently descends into schmaltz. Oh no. These are real people, talking. And it's completely enthralling.
There isn't really a plot. But that's Sunrise's greatest strength. The aimless wanderings of Jesse and Celine are captivating to watch, even…
"Granny Snuff, ever been snuffed out?!" - Benoît
It's like what would happen if they made American Psycho: The Book instead of American Psycho: The Movie. I've heard that Patrick Bateman kills a kid at one point in the book, and decides he doesn't like it. Benoît is an uncensored version of Bateman. Killing pensioners, postmen, black nightwatchmen ("What a dirty trick! So you can't even see him! Who'd ever sink so low?") and, of course, children, there's nothing he…
It's as if David Lynch took Midnight in Paris, took it to Shanghai, removed Owen Wilson (via disposal by Frank Booth) and let Marion Cotillard assume the starring role. All done in the style of Inland Empire.
Obscure, baffling, stylistically stunted and the typical aural assault we expect from Lynch.
"I SHALL CONSUME ALL THE ILL FORTUNE WHICH YOU ARE SAID TO UNLEASH! I SHALL CHEW UP ALL THE SELFISH SCHEMING AND ILL-INTENTIONS THAT MEN LIKE YOU FORCE UPON MEN LIKE ME!"
Guys. This film is going to be something else. Check out the trailer. I fear it won't have enough publicity.
"I'll tear down the Eiffel Tower if I have to!" - Bryan Mills
Taken is exactly what it wants to be. Well-paced, simple and faster than Liam Neeson punching you in the throat. Nothing more, nothing less. It's a showcase for Neeson doing bad-ass stuff, essentially. It's efficient, entertaining and, occasionally, exciting.
However, without Neeson, it's terrible. Neeson is the driving force behind a bad movie, and he makes it good. His performance isn't Oscar-worthy, but he sets out to…