Watched Feb 05, 2012
Andrew Dubber’s review:
This only gets a star because stuff blows up in it. Other than that, it's beyond idiotic.
In brief, Vin Diesel saves a psychic ninja computer-brained child-woman and a kung fu nun by bringing them to all the people who want to kill them, sponsored by Coke.
And that's without the extraneous sub-plot about the Russian gangsters, cult leaders, mad scientists, immaculate conception, misunderstood cage fighters, submarine refugee boats, double-crossing smugglers, snowmobile chases, Hummer chases, unexplained spaceships, memory-scanning, artificial tigers, robotic enhancements, resurrection, and - oh yeah - magic.
Hilariously shit throughout with terrible dialogue. There's only so much you can blame on a meddling studio. This never had a chance. A few good explosions, but otherwise just dire.
Mrs D gets five movie demerit points for choosing this one.