RSS feed for Eli
  • Getaway

    Getaway 2013

    ★½ Watched 23 Apr, 2016

    I feel dumber for having watched this, yet on some small level I enjoyed it.

  • Tangerine

    Tangerine 2015

    ★★★½ Watched 17 Apr, 2016

    Apparently LA is full of transsexual prostitutes and doughnut shops.
    I guess I just found my next vacation destination.

  • Surviving the Game

    Surviving the Game 1994

    ★★★½ Rewatched 16 Apr, 2016 2

    This is a perfect example of a mindless 90s action flick. It is chock full of some really great, but still d-list celebs and they don't waste much time on plot. It's basically Predator, but instead of an alien, it's Ice-T (they even have the same hair). I hadn't seen this one in years, but I'm glad I revisited it.

  • The Falling

    The Falling 2014

    ★★★ Watched 11 Apr, 2016

    This was an enjoyable, yet frustrating film. The characters were all complex and the story was intriguing, but too many questions were raised with not enough answers.
    Maisie Williams really hit it out of the field here. I'm looking forward to the new season of Game of Thrones, and I really hope they give her a chance to show off her acting chops like she does here.

  • Carrie

    Carrie 2002

    ★★ Watched 10 Apr, 2016 1

    This was a completely uninspired remake. Everything about it was worse than the original, and the budget must have been like an independent film. The only plus here was Angela Bettis who plays Carrie perfectly. This is definitely a movie to skip with nothing new (except for a minute or two at the end) to add to the Carrie story.

    I'd rate this about the same as Carrie 2, but nowhere near the original, and if you want to watch a remake, the Chloë Grace Moretz version is far better.

  • I Believe in Unicorns

    I Believe in Unicorns 2014

    ★★★ Watched 03 Apr, 2016

    I really enjoyed the artistic feel of the film, but there just wasn't enough story to justify an entire movie. I definitely look forward to seeing more of Lena Meyerhoff in the future though.

  • Jem and the Holograms

    Jem and the Holograms 2015

    ★½ Watched 30 Mar, 2016 2

    This wasn't nearly as bad as it's been made out to be. Unfortunately it was still complete shit. It was just your typical kids' movie with no real story to it.
    It also serves as a reminder that Molly Ringwald and Juliette Lewis are getting old.

  • Two Days, One Night

    Two Days, One Night 2014

    ★★½ Watched 25 Mar, 2016

    What a very underwhelming movie.

  • Super Mario Bros.

    Super Mario Bros. 1993

    ★★★★ Rewatched 24 Mar, 2016

    Once upon a time a pair of plumbers met a couple cute chicks. The girls were kidnapped by transdimensional dinosaurs that looked just like humans, so naturally the inexplicably ethnically diverse plumber-brothers (Mario Mario and Luigi Mario) followed the trail to a parallel universe. There Mario romances the sexy Big Bertha to get some jet boots and a rock. They were then aided by the fungus among us to defeat the evil King Koopa. Finally at the cliffhanger of an ending Princess Daisy opens the door, gets on the floor, and walks the dinosaur.


    Q: Where was Princess Peach?
    A: She was in another castle.

  • Aimy in a Cage

    Aimy in a Cage 2016

    ★★½ Watched 20 Mar, 2016

    This was like if Tim Burton and Terry Gilliam got together and directed a remake of A Clockwork Orange. But unfortunately it would combine the worst of those to make a mediocre film. Allisyn Ashley Arm was great in this, but there's not much going on.

  • Room

    Room 2015

    ★★★★ Watched 17 Mar, 2016

    Brie Larson definitely deserved her Oscar win for this film, but the child, Jacob Tremblay was even more impressive. The two of them were completely synchronized, making me believe I was watching a mother and son.

  • JCVD

    JCVD 2008

    ★★★★ Watched 13 Mar, 2016 3

    You'll believe a man can cry.