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  • 22 Jump Street 2014

    ★★½ Watched 09 Jul, 2014

    I feel like I should hate this film for being so fucking smug about how self-aware it is but damn if it isn't funny even in how predictable it is.

  • Neighbors 2014

    ★★★ Watched 07 Jul, 2014

    Could not stop obsessing over how much Zac Efron looks like Colin Farrel. Shit was almost creepy.

  • Edge of Tomorrow 2014

    ★★★½ Watched 15 Jun, 2014

    That ending was bullshit though.

  • Vampire Academy 2014

    ★★★ Watched 05 May, 2014

    The "Young Adult Action-Romance" genre has always had more downs than up, but in the post-Harry Potter era it's been especially sad, with book adaptation after book adaptation trying and failing to be the Next Big Thing™. There have been some bright spots, like the funny zombie-Romeo & Juliet Warm Bodies and the atmospheric Southern Gothic-ness of Beautiful Creatures, but the vast majority of these movies are simply shit (Mortal Instruments? Are you kidding me?). Fortunately, Vampire Academy is not shit,…

  • Walk of Shame 2014

    ½ Watched 04 May, 2014

    Absolute dreck from start to finish. Elizabeth Banks is funny, but her material is not.

  • Captain America: The Winter Soldier 2014

    ★★ Watched 04 Apr, 2014 1

    Whoop there it is. I didn't think it would happen, but I reached my breaking point with this superhero circus. Captain America: The Winter Soldier is a failure on almost every level. Every single character is a dull cardboard cutout, there barely any emotional arcs, the whole "Winter Soldier" subplot is completely extraneous and serves only to set up a lame sequel hook, most of the performances are sub-par, the action is rote and uninspired, and the political and social…

  • Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy 2004

    Watched 04 Apr, 2014

    Terminally Unfunny. Possibly because all the jokes and catchphrases have been regurgitated to me without context for the last ten years.

  • Free to Play 2014

    ★★★½ Watched 19 Mar, 2014

    E-sports documentary about a DotA 2 tournament and how it has changed the lives of those who participated. Has some nice emotional arcs, great production values, a satisfying ending, and only feels like a 90-minute advert some of the time.

    I preferred Sons of Starcraft, but enjoyed this a lot as well. To anyone interested in this kind of thing I'd recommend both of them, but if you're only got space in your life for one movie about competitive video game playing, Free to Play is the tighter product.

  • Veronica Mars 2014

    ★★★★½ Watched 19 Mar, 2014

    Fuckin' A. All these years later, and it's everything I ever wanted it to be and more. Thank you, Rob Thomas, and thank you Kickstarter schmucks.

  • 300: Rise of an Empire 2014

    ★★ Watched 19 Mar, 2014

    I'll defend the merits of 300 and visionary auteur Zack Snyder to the last bullet, but even I can't deny that this sequel is rather horrendous. Most of it looks cheap; the dialogue is embarrassing; and while the fight choreography is nice, the overall geography of most of the battle scenes is unimaginative and often unclear, making what should be exciting naval engagements into quite dull affairs. At times the film feels like a half-assed episode of the Starz show…

  • Frozen 2013

    ★★★ Watched 02 Mar, 2014

    The first half-hour or so was hella tight and hit all the right emotional notes, but the film as a whole feels spread too thin and left me a bit disappointed. There's just not enough time spent with the characters for my taste, made increasingly annoying by superfluous political intrigue sub-plots and fucking snowmen. I get that it's a musical and that the significant character work is meant to happen through the songs, but there are only five or six…

  • Captain Phillips 2013

    ★★★ Watched 12 Feb, 2014

    Didn't think the film was all that, though it deserves kudos for managing to keep the tension up during the third act in spite of a foregone conclusion. More impressed by the cinematography - that one shot of the USS Bainbridge circling the lifeboat in the night like some sort of enormous sleek black predator will stay with me for a while.