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  • Avengers: Age of Ultron

    Avengers: Age of Ultron 2015

    ★★★★ Watched 30 Apr, 2015

    And so... The 2015 Marvel Studios Yearbook delivers the grand level of spectacle entertainment you've come to expect from the brand.

    There's no way to replicate the novelty of seeing all the heroes come together for the first time. That had its moment and a very specific kind of crowd pleasing charm that you can only do once.

    I think the filmmakers know that, though, so they decide to just barrel ahead with the large scale thrills in the hopes…

  • Jupiter Ascending

    Jupiter Ascending 2015

    ★★★ Watched 24 Apr, 2015

    It's hard to completely dislike a movie that's this eager to please. And, by that same token, it's also hard to love a movie that's this aggressively careless about its storytelling.

    And so, it's very understandable that a lot of people don't really like this thing. Because, whatever happens, you do kind of have to sit through its opening salvo -- an initial half hour or so that is so incoherent and bombastic, culminating in a particularly torturous 8-minute video…

  • Kidnapping Mr. Heineken

    Kidnapping Mr. Heineken 2015

    ★★ Watched 24 Apr, 2015

    It's interesting to me how they insist on making Sam Worthington a thing. It's also interesting to me how they insist on making Jim Sturgess a thing. And now... Here they are together.

    They're like the Pacino and De Niro of bland European or Australian actors who just can't catch a break and be huge stars. And they probably can't catch a break because either Jim Cameron casts them in a movie where they're a fucking cartoon, or The Wachowskis…

  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show

    The Rocky Horror Picture Show 1975

    ★★★ Watched 19 Apr, 2015 2

    I think it's impossible, at this point, to experience this purely as a movie in the traditional sense. Much less give it any sort of real critical analysis.

    Sure... One can observe the surface details and look at the intent. Richard O'Brien wrote a raunchy burlesque parody of sci-fi B movies, which was then transformed - ambitiously so, given the minuscule budget - into a feature film...which was summarily greeted with a collective head-scratching grimace of absolute confusion by the…

  • Horrible Bosses 2

    Horrible Bosses 2 2014

    ★★ Watched 08 Apr, 2015

    Comedy sequels are tough, aren't they? So much tends to hinge on the freshness of concepts and characters placed in specific situations...all of which is seldom good for more than one go round.

    And so, predictably, this is a disappointment.

    Not for lack of trying, I suppose. But did we really need to see the continuing adventures of these characters? I know, maybe, in some way we wanted to. But we're stupid. We don't know what we want most of…

  • Bad Words

    Bad Words 2013

    ★★★ Rewatched 08 Apr, 2015

    Jason Bateman's foul mouthed comedy is often very funny. After all, it's quite possible he's mastered the craft of portraying the laconic, smarmy dick. And so, here we see what might have happened if he'd been cast as Gob, instead of Michael Bluth.

    That's what I'm saying. Jason Bateman is very good at playing a fucking asshole.

    If there's a problem, it's that he's also hell-bent on making the movie about something.

    The basic premise is unfathomable and absurd. Even…

  • Teen Wolf

    Teen Wolf 1985

    Rewatched 02 Apr, 2015

    Has this ever been seen as a classic?

    I don't know... But, in any case, it pretty much sucks.

    I think there's the potential for interesting stuff here. Sure, the metaphor aspects of it are obvious...and clunky. But go ahead. Use a supernatural element to observe the realities of puberty. There are valid things to be said, and an audience that may appreciate the message.

    I think what happens is this was made in a less careful era. It's possible…

  • Furious 7

    Furious 7 2015

    ★★★ Watched 02 Apr, 2015

    Up front, I'll say that the filmmakers behind this thing were able to maneuver their way around the distracting element of Paul Walker's death surprisingly well...and tastefully, which I think was to be expected.

    And James Wan proves to be about as adept at orchestrating the sort of madcap, plasticized action mayhem this series requires as Justin Lin was before him.

    All that being said, this is not without its share of problems. And I'll be very curious to investigate…

  • It Follows

    It Follows 2014

    ★★★★ Watched 29 Mar, 2015

    I think it's safe to say that most 80s slasher classics are really just paranoia thrillers aimed at teenagers... With their none too subtle sexual subtext and the constant peril of early death being the driving force.

    I think the great value in this post modern variation on that formula is David Robert Mitchell very astutely puts that subtext at the forefront, and builds an effective and propulsive narrative around an idea that is pure subtext. There is no "text,"…

  • Life Itself

    Life Itself 2014

    ★★★ Watched 23 Mar, 2015

    As expected... A heartfelt, two-hour tribute to Roger Ebert the critic, with a strong emphasis on Roger Ebert the person.

    Steve James' standard documentary treatment is not all that interesting cinematically... And the movie doesn't really go beyond the surface details.

    But it doesn't have to.

    Ebert is a writer who revealed himself through his work...the great bulk of which is available for you to dig in. And you should. What this documentary is, then, is a companion piece for…

  • Kingsman: The Secret Service

    Kingsman: The Secret Service 2014

    ★★★★ Watched 22 Mar, 2015

    At first, this movie is a little too fanciful... And almost insufferably smug. Then it actually gets clever. Then, it goes to some truly wacky places. By the time it ends, it's rather brilliant.

    I think they get that these spy movies are inherently ridiculous. And they want to make sure we get it too, hitting us over the head with that point a little too much. But Colin Firth really is perfectly cast in this. It's like he took…

  • Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie

    Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie 2012

    ★★★ Watched 21 Mar, 2015

    This is review-proof, basically.

    Because it is what it is. And you either know what this is and you like it; or you don't know/don't care/don't understand...etc.

    To call it a "good" movie is not entirely accurate. Because many people will be unable to see it as such. And to call it a "bad" movie is wrong too. Because it's a film that is 100% exactly what it's attempting to be.

    So the only thing you can call it is…