Movies that are slightly off.
1990: The Bronx Warriors
The first to die were the lucky ones!
In a post-apocalyptic New York City, a policeman infiltrates the Bronx, which has become a battleground for several murderous street gangs.
It's a futuristic post-apocalyptic Bronx, New York. Home of lawlessness, motorcycle gangs, a pimp named The Orge, zombie-esque zombies, and fellas that use roller skates for shoes. When the young heir to a wealthy capitalist disappears, a rugged bounty hunter / cop goes deep into the Bronx to bring her back. The problem? She doesn't want to go home, and she's fallen in love with a young macho motorcycle badass named Trash. It's an Enzo G. Castellari flick; featuring Vic Morrow, Fred Williamson, Enzo's actual daughter as the missing girl, and Mark Gregory as Trash. It's pretty much The Warriors meets Escape from New York, but without Snake and Swan. 1990: The Bronx Warriors has no shame when it comes…
Oh, 1990: The Bronx Warriors. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…
1. THAT INTRO
2. The goddamn drummer
3. One handed guy riding a motorcycle
4. Trash’s high wasted jeans (gave a new meaning to chub rub)
5. Effective use of f-bombs
6. “Hold me, Trash.”
7. That music during the funeral (Did they inhale most of the ashes?)
8. TAP DANCER FIGHT
9. The guys’s handle is HOT DOG
10. The Hammer’s laugh
So much fun.
"I work for nobody. I don't care about the Manhattan Corporation. I don't care about the girl. I don't care about politics. I don't care about anything. I believe in nothing......I'm Hammer, the exterminator."
This is a low rent Italian rip off of both The Warriors and Escape From New York, and while it isn't good, it really ain't half bad. I mean, right off the bat you get this amazing scene of all the gangs meeting up across the harbour from the World Trade Center, and the whole time there is just this guy with a snare drum, bass drum, and hi-hat rocking out while there is this extended dialogue-less scene opening of just gangs squaring off against each…
movies that begin with a scene that would be at the climax of a different, inferior movie are underappreciated. movies that explain little or nothing, that give the impression entire scenes were left out. movies that trash plot for more interesting things like elaborate costumes and camera tricks...those things take guts. they take a kind of brazen, overconfident, indifferent attitude few seem to posess and wield correctly. they know what to spend the limited budget on. this movie is about some tough guys named trash, hammer, hot dog, and ogre. it has real hell's angels in it. it has compilations of reaction shots that last five minutes, leaving very little time for dialogue or acting. it has some fights that…
aka 1990: I guerrieri del Bronx aka Bronx Warriors
“In the year 1990 the Bronx is officially declared No Man’s Land. The authorities give up all attempts to restore law and order. From then on the area is ruled by the Riders”.
Enzo G. Castellari (perhaps best known for 1978's 'The Inglorious Bastards') directs this vaguely SciFi, silly trash that has gained a cult following.
It follows a rich runaway girl who joins an outlaw biker gang, who must then protect her against her evil father and rival gangs (including the underground 'zombies', some people dressed as Broadway dancers, some street hockey guys on roller skates, and some extras from a Blaxploitation film led by Fred Williamson).
This isn't a…
Best opening credit sequence.
Rocky's Stutmen Team
The Hell's Angels".
I kinda liked this even though it's not the best movie I've seen where one of the main characters is named trash or the best movie I have seen with rollerskating gangs.
I watched this directly after finishing The Get Down and found it to be an almost perfect companion piece. An over the top rip-off of The Warriors mixed with Escape From New York where themed gangs have taken over The Bronx. Ridiculous in the best ways. And those intro credits!
A wildly chaotic mashup of The Warriors and Escape from New York. It works best as a series of loosely connected scenes, barreling through with one crazy idea after another. It's not often you come across a film which opens with a woman being attacked by rollerskating weirdos, only to be saved by bikers that run around with glowing skulls attached to their machines and have that be one of the least bizarre things that goes down in a film, but it's true here. Vic Morrow (who, by film's end, goes full-on ham to tremendous effect), Fred Williamson and Christopher Connelly add ever so slight traces of class to an otherwise trashy production, but I was pretty surprised that Enzo…
"I work for nobody. I don't care about the Manhattan Corporation! I don't care about the girl, I don't care about politics, I don't care about anything! I believe in nothing."
After thoroughly enjoying Castellari's ''Keoma', I thought this would be an ridiculous 80's sleaze fest. While it tries to go for something along the lines of 'Escape from New York' + 'The Warriors', there simply is not enough solid action sequences, even though some of the other gangs were hilarious like the tapdancers, zombies, and roller skaters. I will be the first to say that Vic Morrow and Fred Williamson were fun to watch, but there wasn't enough thrills or fights for it to be rather enjoyable.
I'd rather suggest something like 'Wheels of Fire', a solid Mad Max rip off, or 'Timerider', where a motorcyclist goes back in time to the Wild West.
If you're going to be bad at least be entertaining. Vic Morrow brought the heat though.
Ooops, this is a little embarrassing. Watched this one last night and was convinced I was watching ESCAPE FROM THE BRONX in just one of those countless various titles that all those classic Eurotrashers boast. Then posted a review and when checking other reviews noticed that Henry Silva was apparently in ESCAPE. That's when the penny dropped. Decided to still leave the old review as is just for the craic. But I guess it means ESCAPE is still on my To Watch list for another little while.
"This one was on my To Watch list for literally decades. And nothing to combat a little personal feeling of Ennui with everything by popping in some classic Eurotrash.
And this delivers on…
I'm sure this is better with a group. Or if you live in the 80s. Or in Italy. Or in the Bronx.
"Remember, we from the Bronx live with death."
A movie that mashes up all of the plot elements of THE WARRIORS and ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK sounds like it would be the best thing ever, right? Well, like with most of these old, Italy-produced ripoffs, the results are way more slow-paced and boring than what the log line and box art would lead you to believe. These things always have a moment or two of pure, unadulterated awesomeness sprinkled throughout the boring stretches though, and 'The Bronx Warriors' is no exception to that rule. Despite its low-budget mediocrity, this is still a movie where guys who ride around on motorcycles with glowing plastic skulls above the headlights fight guys on…
There are times in this movie when I'm pulling out my hair and yelling at the screen "This movie is so stupid!!!!!", and then there's other times that I'm laughing with delight and yelling to the world "This movie is so stupid!!!!!" (in the best way possible). Then Vic Morrow starts to laugh maniacally and I realize that everything's good in the world of Italian rip-offs of The Warriors.