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You can skip movies 10 times but never go back.
Alexander, the King of Macedonia, leads his legions against the giant Persian Empire. After defeating the Persians he leads his Army across the then known world venturing further than any Westerner had ever gone all the way to India.
Since we don't actually know what ancient Macedonians sound like let's each pick a different accent!
I see Angie's gone with the "crazed gypsy accent" while Mr Farrell went with the "vaguely European mumble accent", Val decided on "mostly Californian" and Anthony went for "jolly old British".
THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 11AM AND 3PM
The film Alexander has just entered its second agonising hour...
Me: "God, this film is awful."
Richard: "It's not. It's just not. There's plenty."
Me: "I think I see where they're going with this."
Me: "Jared Leto is in love with Alexander, and he's looking at him marrying his new wife. So, here's what's gonna happen..."
Richard: "What's gonna happen?"
Me: "Alexander is going to find his wife with her neck slit open in bed, and written in blood on the wall above will be 'MEET ME AT THE MOUNTAIN TOP, so Alexander will have to fight Jared Leto on the mountain where they trained as kids. There will be…
"Directed by Oliver Stone"
Are you EVER.
"Music by Vangelis"
Is it EVER.
The further back into history you delve, the more mythical some figures become. Stories about legends handed down through the ages that get embellished until the waters about what is truth and what is fiction get murkier and murkier.
Alexander The Great was a military leader and King Of Macedonia who conquered large parts of Asia Minor, Egypt, and the ancient Persian Empire. This account of his more famous exploits including his fractious relationship with his father and his quest to conquer the known world is at times thrilling, but historically suspect to say the least. Oliver Stone's film came in for criticism from all fronts. From Colin Farrell's performance as the bi-sexual Alexander, to the casting of Angelina Jolie…
Every movie enthusiast is familiar with the feeling of admiring a movie that everybody else seems to despise. Most of us have quite a few of those. I certainly have my fair share, but the movie that immediately pops into my mind in such discussions is Oliver Stone’s "Alexander".
Most critics panned the theatrical version, the box office was a letdown and it even got 6 Razzie Award nominations. This movie was on almost every level a complete failure. Flawed as it was, I did not quite get why. But then again I was only a teenager, what did I know?
In 2007, Oliver Stone released his Final Cut, which he called "Alexander Revisited". I only got around to watch…
The Ultimate Cut.
Speechless right now.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE. IT'S SO FUCKING GAY. MY HUMANITIES PROFESSOR RECOMENDED IT TO ME BECAUSE IT'S SO OBVIOUS THAT ALEXANDER AND HEPHASTION WERE LOVERS.
THERE'S NO SEX SCENE, OR EVEN A KISS, BETWEEN THEM, WHICH WHILE UNFORTUNATE, IS TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE
CONSIDERING THE MOVIE CAME OUT IN 2004. I COULD GO OFF ON A RANT ABOUT HOW IT'S SOCIETY'S FAULT THAT AN ON SCREEN SEX SCENE BETWEEN THEM WOULD CHEAPEN THEIR RELATIONSHIP, BUT I'LL END WITH THIS INSTEAD.
IT HAS IT'S FAIR SHARE OF PROBLEMS, WHICH IS PROBABLY WHY THERE'S SO MANY CUTS OF IT, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT ISN'T A GREAT MOVIE.
FIGHT ME ROTTEN TOMATOES.
its tagline? "fortune favors the bold"
reality? the boldest thing about this film was its use of the papyrus font
τι άλλο θα κάνω για τον γκόμενο Χριστέ μου
Watched chunks of this on tv in a motel, where the whole thing read as very silly - like a poorly rendered cut-scene from a strategy game.
Film #4 of Scavenger Hunt #20.
#9: A film starring a cast member from the TV show Vikings. (John Kavanagh)
Watched the Ultimate Cut.
Certainly an ambitious film, but definetely not Stone's strongest work. The contrasting accents and often poor performances become exhausting. Alexander's life certainly deserves an extensive runtime, but it's a massive flaw here, mostly because of how poorly made this is. I generally like Colin Farrell, but he is a terrible choice for this role. His blonde hair is atrocious, his accent is jarring, and he's directed poorly.
The ultimate cut (303 min.).
This review is based on "Alexander Revisited: The Final Cut." I think this is the version where Oliver Stone was allowed to do whatever he wanted with the movie and I'm glad it exists. It has problems, but it's also one of the largest films I can recall seeing in some time. This made me think, that in-spite of its bloated nature, they don't make movies like this anymore. With some creative direction or the help of someone reigning this film in, this could have been a masterpiece.
So long-winded. If I could speak to this movie I would demand those 3 hours and 33 minutes of my life back. Keep the change.
gayness: 5/5 (holy shit)
Not "gay with exceptions". Not "curious". Not doing it for the sake of a plot twist or a neat ending.…
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