Friends often ask me to recommend indie horror films on Netflix Instant. (American Netflix, sorry!) Now I can just send…
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane
Everyone is dying to be with her. Someone is killing for it.
The orphan Mandy Lane is a beautiful, virgin and pure teenager raised by her aunt, desired by her schoolmates and a close friend of the outcast Emmet. After the death of their high school mate in a pool party, Mandy befriends Chloe, Marlin, Red, Bird and Jake. Red invites the group for a weekend party in the isolated ranch of his family.
Everyone wants to fuck Amber fuckin Heard, too bad there's a fuckin-psycho killer in their way. A party with the cool-kids. A leap of faith. Locker room chit-chat. A weekend getaway. A Hell on Wheels ranch-hand. Tits at the window. 68, you do me I owe you 1. A shotgun blow-job. A bullet to the face. A Bird's-eye view gets cut to shit. A bloody French-kiss. A final hug. A broken oath. Predictable with a what-the-fuck twist. Anson fuckin Mount is cool as fuck as Garth the Cowboy. His 8 lines of dialogue are fuckin brilliant. If you want to see Amber naked, watch The Informers. If you want to see a good slasher watch something else. If you like Anson fuckin Mount and you have 90 minutes to waste, then watch this.
I really don't get the hype/support this flick gets. It looks better than every horror movie ever, and the opening 20 minutes made me think that it was going to be clever. Then it turns into a stereotypical teen slasher, but continues to act like it's still being clever.
And why, exactly, do all the boys love Mandy Lane? I mean, Amber Heard is very attractive, but Mandy Lane is less interesting than my toaster. Was that the clever part? All the boys want to do her even though she has the personality of a fern? Is that some sort of commentary on something? The end certainly wasn't the clever part because it was super obvious, so that must have been it. Just too clever for me to get, I guess.
On the upside, that one song by Professor Murder is in it and that song rules.
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
As soon as Mandy looked to her stereotypical "uncool" friend when being invited to the pool party by the "cool" kids, at the very beginning of the film, I knew she was in on whatever massacre was going to eventually occur.
While I am thankful after the twist was finally revealed that the filmmakers did not give us a long, drawn out explanation as to why Mandy is a manipulative, sociopathic killer I was hoping for a better ending. It would have been fantastic if Garth would have sat up and killed her, then collapse and die himself.
Thankfully I am not a boy because I would be offended that I am lumped up with everyone else in reference to…
Performances : 6.6/10
Story : 7.1/10
Production : 6.5/10
Overall : 6.73/10
It's corny, cheesy, thinly disguised, occasionally ridiculous and often laughable. The most important thing the film is can't be described in one word though. All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is a fantastic throwback to one of the more exciting genres in movie history: the 80's slasher.
It has the perfect amount of blood, plenty of laughs and more than it's share of sexual depravity. My big issue was that it tried to modernize itself. That sounds like an unfair complaint. After all, who can blame Levine and company for wanting to make their film look like it came out in the 21st century? I just felt like…
There she is boys, Mandy Lane. Untouched, pure. Since the dawn of junior year men have tried to possess her, and to date all have failed.
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane... da fuck why?! We are used to characters in horror films acting idiotic in the face of danger, but this film introduces the stupidity long before any danger rears its head. Apparently all the horndogs in this small town are completely infatuated with Mandy Lane because she's the only girl that hasn't slept with all of them.
If that wasn't bad enough, all the slutty girls are constantly in desperate need for Mandy's approval as well. So all these horned up teenagers, male and female, that are…
Dull. I figured out the twist based purely on the title when it was announced almost a decade ago. Not bloody enough to make up for how dislikable all the characters were. Mandy as a character is boring and honestly Amber Heard isn't that attractive either. The one brunette character in this was WAY more attracive, but that's beside the point. Nothing much happens for half the movie and then when stuff DOES start happening, not much happens anyway.
It is funny how a movie with a title like this has become pretty universally reviled, and it blows my mind that this made such huge waves when it was announced. At least if I wanna watch a good Amber Heard flick I still have Drive Angry, the Citizen Kane of our time.
Oh, the cinematography in the last act is respectable though.
Oh Mandy Lane, you so crazy! It starts out so unbelievably fucking strong and ends on a very interesting note, shame you're saggin' so much there in the middle Mandy.
Though no part of this film was really that original (Take the cast of Neighbours, drop them in the outback of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre then have them knocked off one by one a la Friday the 13th ) I went pretty crazy when I saw them out of yellow plastic cups. No, your eyes be not deceived my fellow horror aficionados, yellow. No red, that shit is aaallllllll yellow baby. Ahem... Also they play "Kings" and actually know how to take DXM, so that was cool.
Emmet (above right)…
Decent film. Pretty good gore. I kind of called the ending. Amber heard was good the kids not so much. It was an ok watch noting to write home about.
mandy my home girl
It really shouldn't work, but Mandy Lane's magnetism on screen carries the movie.
A very different kind of slasher film. Even jaded horror fans should like.
Pretty straightforward slasher pic until it's not... which is at the end. As in, after you sat through the first 95% of the damn thing waiting for it to be amazing like you've been hearing it is. It's not. It's not bad, it's just not as special as you've perhaps been led to believe. It's a good-looking film, I'll give it that. Got a crisp, fresh look that's nice. But maybe I'm just cranky enough old guy that these kids and their concerns could not have produced less care from me... I don't think I was hoping anybody got out alive. Best moment: party at the pool comes to a screeching halt.
Still as in love with Mandy as the first time.
I must confess, I wouldn’t be as much of a movie fan as I am now if it weren’t for…
Horror movies are by far my favorite, so I've decided to make a list with all of them I remember…