Masterclass Pieces of Cinema.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked
This holiday it's gonna get squeaky.
Playing around while aboard a cruise ship, the Chipmunks and Chipettes accidentally go overboard and end up marooned in a tropical paradise. They discover their new turf is not as deserted as it seems.
It’s amazing to think this insufferable series of films has managed to get to a third installment. The thought of the six disease-ridden vermin being stuck on a deserted island sounded great, unfortunately they decided to film the whole thing rather than just leaving them there to starve, turn to cannibalism and then die excruciating and tortured deaths. Once again the film has been created purely to destroy what little self-respect Jason Lee and David Cross managed to have, particularly the latter whose will to live visually breaks about halfway through the movie.
If you’ve ever had to sit through the first two films you’ll know how loud, high-pitched and obnoxious these little digital dipshits are and it appears they…
The Good: Nothing.
The Bad: Damn near everything.
The Bottom Line: I can't believe I managed to sit through this pap. I deserve some sort of prize. How they've been able to churn out three of these and turn a profit is beyond me. Chipwrecked is the cinematic equivalent of a lobotomy. Don't lobotomize your kids. Next thing you know, we'll be watering our plants with Gatorade or some other crazy shit.
Do you know what the scientific name for the common squirrel is?
See, even science knows the vulgarity of these animals. Scientific and objective proof of the offensive and disgusting nature of this film.
To be fairly honest, I just finished watching this film so that I could give it half a star. There are absolutely no redeeming qualities about this. It's just a bunch of chipmunks with horrible voices doing stupid things. Everything is totally nonsense; also, the acting feels completely cheap. Even if I wanted to point something positive about this, I can't really think of one. Not even one. Oh, this might rise the search for headache pills. This is good, I guess. To the economy. Ok, I'll just stop.
I woke up in front of my TV. This was just starting on HBO. I watched the whole thing. Oh God, why. An extra star for David Cross in a bird suit.
I think this is what Walter E. Kurtz was talking about when he died in Apocolypse Now ... ..... ..... The Horror, The Horror
I had to 'watch' this with Wolf Cubs of my scout. (that's my excuse)
I can't even see a 7 year old enjoying this movie.
MY EYES! OH MY GOD MY EYES WHAT IS THIS...PLEASE GOD WHAT IS THIS? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Guys your holiday is gonna get squeaky just remember that k?
Party rock is in the house tonight
holy christ when will these movies end. David Cross is wearing half of a bird mascot costume the whole movie-which is pretty funny. His little ugly head popping out of a giant fluffy bird.
Melvins "The Queen" on fucking repeat
This may be a little more funnier than the last two.
Like Cast Away, only it has the Chipmunks. It also shows a (slight)mature side of Alvin, contemplating on all his antics that drive poor Dave crazy. And we also see Ian Hawke seeing the error of his ways. Sort of. At least he's no longer an egomaniac. Just dialled down to a milder level.
Alvin and the Chipmunks was pretty good. But I would've thought would've left it at that. Well, maybe in the fourth film, that might be it.
The singing distracted my 1 year old a few times. I'm glad David Cross got a paycheck out of it.
Significantly less clever than the other installments. The 5 year-old didn't care!
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