The film opens with something like:

‘Homeland Security denies that what you are about to see ever happened'

Yep. Totally get why they'd say that.

Two things happened to me while watching this.

1. Out of sheer boredom I started chanting Mario van Peebles' name. It had an odd calming effect. It still baffles me to this day that he never changed his name. Perhaps he had a hidden ambition to do porn if his movie career failed?

2. It made me weep for Carl Weathers. I hate it for that.

Oh great, another The Asylum movie knock-off! If you couldn’t guess this film attempts to jump on the Battleship bandwagon with tedious results. As with all of the studio’s re-imaginings the budget is non-existent and so is the entertainment. The only positives the film has is the fact it stars Mario Van Peebles and Carl Weathers (sadly never sharing any actual screen time) but neither are close to their best.

There are certain things you can guarantee when watching an Asylum movie: the special effects will be laughable (the aliens are particularly unimpressive), the acting wooden and the script nonsensical. Who am I kidding, there is no script just some vague plot written down on the back of a beer mat. Sadly the other thing you can almost always guarantee is that it will be incredibly boring too and American Warships is no different. I’m sure these films are made just to make the crap Hollywood blockbusters look good.

The film opens with something like:

‘Homeland Security denies that what you are about to see ever happened'

Yep. Totally get why they'd say that.

Two things happened to me while watching this.

1. Out of sheer boredom I started chanting Mario van Peebles' name. It had an odd calming effect. It still baffles me to this day that he never changed his name. Perhaps he had a hidden ambition to do porn if his movie career failed?

2. It made me weep for Carl Weathers. I hate it for that.

Oh great, another The Asylum movie knock-off! If you couldn’t guess this film attempts to jump on the Battleship bandwagon with tedious results. As with all of the studio’s re-imaginings the budget is non-existent and so is the entertainment. The only positives the film has is the fact it stars Mario Van Peebles and Carl Weathers (sadly never sharing any actual screen time) but neither are close to their best.

There are certain things you can guarantee when watching an Asylum movie: the special effects will be laughable (the aliens are particularly unimpressive), the acting wooden and the script nonsensical. Who am I kidding, there is no script just some vague plot written down on the back of a beer mat. Sadly the other thing you can almost always guarantee is that it will be incredibly boring too and American Warships is no different. I’m sure these films are made just to make the crap Hollywood blockbusters look good.

syfy original..... nothing more to say.

The coolest thing about this movie is the battleship on which they shot. The second coolest thing is Mario Van Peebles and Carl Weathers in the same movie. Not the worst thing ever.

Bad SyFy rip off of a bad Hollywood movie based on a children's board game. Sign me up.

Movies like this really should teach me to stop watching anything made by The Asylum. American Battleship wasn't even watchable in a "so bad, it's funny" way. Which is, I'm assuming, something that The Asylum relies on.

Yet another attempt by The Asylum to cash in on a big budget Hollywood flick. Surprisingly, this one has a few scenes that almost work.

The poster is more awesome than the movie.