Arachnoquake
2012 Directed by Griff Furst
Synopsis
The World Will Quake In Fear
Giant albino spiders break free from the depths of Earth in New Orleans, making everyone’s worst nightmare a reality.
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I don’t want to oversell it but this is probably the best film of all time.
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Enjoyably daft creature-feature with giant, fire-breathing spiders invading New Orleans. Not bad for a little light viewing, some laughs to be had. Competent direction by Griff Furst (Mask Maker).
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I don't know which was less realistic: the awful CGI'd albino spiders or Edward Furlong playing Tracey Gold's ex-husband and father to those grown-ass kids. And don't get me started on Bug Hall. The moment he came on-screen, I said to myself, "THAT's what Alfalfa looks like now?" What a steaming pile of dogshit that guy is now. Same goes for this movie.
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God I watch some shite, it get's the half star for the fact it pays homage to Deep Blue Sea.
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The sort of film that doesn't really need a review. The title, being a combination of arachnid (spider) and earthquake (shaking) should be ample enough description for the average viewer to work out what the is a) going to be about and b) the level of quality to expect.
Watch this if you liked Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus. It does exactly what it says on the tin!!!
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Sometimes the SfFy Channel films are just that level of bad; that they become mildly amusing or in even rarer cases they can actually make a genuine attempt to makes something interesting; unfortunately Arachnoquake starring Eddie Furlong doesn't fall into either camps, it's yet another rushed together lazy attempt to produce cheap Sci-Fi creature non-sense; it's to be expected that the level of acting and effects to be dustbin standard, but with Edward Furlong on board you'd think there might be some sort of effort to push the level of expectation up a few degrees. It's had to imagine that someone who once had big roles in the likes of T2: Judgment Day and American History X would disappear into…
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I don't know which was less realistic: the awful CGI'd albino spiders or Edward Furlong playing Tracey Gold's ex-husband and father to those grown-ass kids. And don't get me started on Bug Hall. The moment he came on-screen, I said to myself, "THAT's what Alfalfa looks like now?" What a steaming pile of dogshit that guy is now. Same goes for this movie.
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I don’t want to oversell it but this is probably the best film of all time.
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This is definitely light-hearted viewing, you cannot take any of the characters seriously. Judging by the quality of the computer animation, I'm saddened to learn this was produced in 2012.
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Enjoyably daft creature-feature with giant, fire-breathing spiders invading New Orleans. Not bad for a little light viewing, some laughs to be had. Competent direction by Griff Furst (Mask Maker).
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What is this I don't even....
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I watched this for cracktastic reasons and it definitely lived up to my expectations, haha.