Batman & Robin
1997 Directed by Joel Schumacher
Synopsis
Strength. Courage. Honor. And loyalty.
Along with crime-fighting partner Robin and new recruit Batgirl, Batman battles the dual threat of frosty genius Mr. Freeze and homicidal horticulturalist Poison Ivy. Freeze plans to put Gotham City on ice, while Ivy tries to drive a wedge between the dynamic duo.
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If this movie were a person, I would throw it down a portable flight of stairs that I would carry around with me my entire life, waiting for that one occasion.
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You either die The Dark Knight,
Or live long enough to see yourself become Batman & Robin. -
Spectacularly shite.
So much so that Arnie's daft performance is the only salvageable aspect that can be scraped from this plate of visual diarrhea.
There's so many wrong things at play here:
1. Alicia Silverstone handles the english language like she just suffered a severe stroke.
2. Uma Thurman is about as sexy as Jimmy Saville in a children's hospital ward.
3. Chris O'Donnell has the charisma of a toilet seat.
4. George Clooney's leather nipples.
5. Bat bombs. Bat heaters. Bat ice-skates. Bat lasers. Batman fucking credit card!
6. That awkward moment when you think George Clooney is about to kiss Alfred on the lips.
7. The artistic raping of Bane. I knew I recognized him from Fisting Mexican… -
Biggest canerceous carbuncle ever to have defamed the franchise. Joel Schumacher should be whipped naked through the streets of Gotham.
I can't even bring myself to thoroughly review this steaming turd of a movie, I have but a simple message to all who were involved in its production
Shame on you....shame on you....a pox on your house
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One of the worst films ever made! Horrible in every way! A complete clusterfuck of shit! Fuck you Schumacher! A waste of film...
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I know this really isn't an excuse but I was really, really drunk last night and couldn't go to sleep yet and somehow ended up watching this and even in my drunken state, it was obvious this movie was as terrible as ever.
I had seen it originally when I was about 14 or 15, when it came out and I think I kinda liked it, maybe, I really do not remember.
All I remember from watching it last night was terrible acting by everyone involved (especially the ladies; Uma and Alicia, Chris O'Donnell was a little extra terrible too), really, really cheesy puns in almost every line delivery and Arnold looking AWESOME.
I think it is best I never watch this sober.
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Did Poison Ivy not know that a new ice age would kill all the plants?
And when a female plant-themed villain emerged on the streets of Gotham, why couldn't the world's greatest detective piece it together that maybe that villain was actually the crazy lady he met earlier in the day screaming about how all humans should die so that plants may live?
So many close ups of Bat Butt Cheeks.
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No no no no no no no.
If you've only seen the Dark Knight trilogy, stick with that.
Generic superhero movie with tons and tons of horrible puns.
Really, how many one-liners that refference to 'cold' could they think of?
-Answer: WAY TOO MANY -
I know this really isn't an excuse but I was really, really drunk last night and couldn't go to sleep yet and somehow ended up watching this and even in my drunken state, it was obvious this movie was as terrible as ever.
I had seen it originally when I was about 14 or 15, when it came out and I think I kinda liked it, maybe, I really do not remember.
All I remember from watching it last night was terrible acting by everyone involved (especially the ladies; Uma and Alicia, Chris O'Donnell was a little extra terrible too), really, really cheesy puns in almost every line delivery and Arnold looking AWESOME.
I think it is best I never watch this sober.
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This shit is fucking hilarious.
"Robin can't resist. They kiss. Ivy pulls back, holds his
gaze.IVY
Bad luck, I'm afraid. It's time to
die, little bird.ROBIN
What do you mean?IVY
You should have heeded your pointy-
eared pal. These lips can be murder.ROBIN
Then you never loved me?IVY
Love you? I loathe your bipedal
arrogance, your animal superiority.
My only joy is knowing that even now
my poison kiss is sucking the life
from your ape-like face.VOICE(OVER)
I'm not saying I told you so.428 Ivy spins. From the shadows, a figure emerges. Batman.
IVY
You're too late. Say bye-bye birdie.ROBIN
Sorry to disappoint you. But rubber
lips are immune to your charms.Robin peels a rubber coating from his mouth. Ivy stares
in dismay." -
The gay crusader meets his match, indie filmaker and superhippy Joel Schumacher !
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Two words. Terrible, unwatchable.
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Watched as part of my campaign to watch every Arnie film. I've been putting it off, frankly, based on how much I hated it back in 1997. This was one of the worst cinema trips of my life. Despite the relative failings of Batman Forever (namely Joel Schumacher's decision to jump from the 1930s to the 1990s replacing all Bob Kane's gothic darkness with Shinjuku neon) I was still looking forward to Batman & Robin at the time. I had a big crush on Alicia Silverstone and wanted to see her in the Batgirl costume, I loved Uma Thurman because this was 3 years after Pulp Fiction, I loved Arnold Schwarzenegger and they'd gotten rid of Val Kilmer, who I hated…
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They say Joel Schumacher ruined the franchise with this film. Maybe it wasnt entirely his fault. Dialog was terrible in this...everything with the characters was "holy what went wrong Batman" Chris ODonnell was awful and just plain annoying as Robin, Alicia Silverstone was awful as Batgirl and her lines were just terrible. Arnold Schwartzenegger was cool as Mr Freeze but had too many puns. George Clooney was miscast as Batman, he is much like a gangster to me in the movie,, he really isnt the superhero type. There was action, effects that were decent. It is funny how the last two Batman films went the same way as the last two Superman films....both dropped mightily
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The candy-colored anus of the film franchise.