Reviews of Battleship 2012
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it's tempting to dismiss it with 'Battleship? Battleshit'. It really is about as dumb as big American blockbusters get. A load of CGI explosions linked together with a load of naval recruitment nonsense. Cracking soundtrack though.
God knows what Qui Gon was doing there.
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lot of action, lot of the same old same old, little story, but killed some brain cells for a couple of hours and strangely calmed my rage from the day at work.
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The Good: Surprisingly tolerable. I was expecting some rage-inducing awfulness, but I must admit it's rather entertaining at times. Rihanna ain't a bad actress. The buoy grid battle is oddly compelling.
The Bad: Slow start. Shitty dialogue. Shittier story. Mediocre acting. The subplot with the girlfriend (Brooklyn Decker), the double amputee, and the unfunny nerd should've been scrapped; they're terrible.
The Bottom Line: This is a movie starring Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker... based on a board game... where the characters…
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6.0
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Very enjoyable for the first 15 minutes when I thought the movie was a parody. Then I was realizing it was meant to be taken seriously. It then went from ridicolous to stupid to illogical to unbelievable dumb. Then it got much worse...
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So bad it's actually good.
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An good sci-fi action film.
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Sometimes I grab movies that look or sound good with the intent of watching them, and often I'll find something close by that looks better or I get distracted and the viewing of the originally intended picture gets pushed back for a while, and that's what happened with this one. I finally got to it today, and I'm not so sure why everyone hated it so much. They had a pretty spectacular budget at $209 million, but it flopped hard…
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This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
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When suddenly, aliens. Then bursts of fiery explosions. BOOM. Insert a bad joke here, and repeat more explosions.
There is nothing more to be had with Battleship. It is all flash, no substance. The plot is absurd. If there is anything that comes to my mind when I think of the board game Battleship, it is anything but aliens. Uninspired acting prevents this film from conveying any sense of
urgency that the world is about to be destroyed. At times… -
This movie is like a beautiful looking tasty apple luring you to take a bite from it.
When you take the bite however, you find out it tastes like total shit and there's a patriotic worm inside it smirking at you while waving it's tiny American flag. When you finally get the horrible taste out of your mouth, Rihanna comes bursting through your door and scratches your eyeballs out.I would not recommend this movie.
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This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.