Movies that are slightly off.
Beneath the Planet of the Apes
An army of civilized apes...A fortress of radiation-crazed super humans...Earth's final battle is about to begin - Beneath the atomic rubble of what was once the city of New York!
Astronaut Brent is sent to rescue Taylor but crash lands on the Planet of the Apes, just like Taylor did in the original film. Taylor has disappeared into the Forbidden Zone so Brent and Nova try to follow and find him. He discovers a cult of humans that fear the Apes' latest military movements and finds himself in the middle. Tension mounts to a climactic battle between ape and man deep in the bowels of the planet.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
A very solid pick for the title of strangest sequel ever made. The first half is a hacky, shameless rehash of the first POTA. A Charlton Heston lookalike (James Franciscus) retraces Heston's steps (and I mean step by freaking step) through the Ape civilization. He crashes his spaceship, loses the rest of his crew, meets cavewoman hottie Nova, witnesses ape judicial hearings, provides shocked declarations about what he sees ("It's a bloody nightmare!"), gets shot by an ape, meets Zira and Cornelius, loses his astronaut clothes and winds up in a loincloth, gets captured by gorillas, dumped in Zira's clinic, escapes, and discovers that the Planet Of The Apes is actually Earth. If someone paid you to make the safest,…
Upside-down crucified apes, sacrilegious hallucinations, bloody stigmata statues, radioactive ritualizing, lingering death blows to the face and brain, mind control murder, nihilistic nuclear annihilation... all for the children in perhaps the most egregious excuse ever for a G-rated film. This description probably makes the film sound like a real demented trip worth taking, and the last 20 minutes or so are definitely that, but the first hour is one ginormous wet noodle of a retread. 20 Century Fox was in dire straits coming off some expensive, legendary bombs at the time and had to rush this slapdash and cheaply produced sequel that no one had any biting commitment and passion for and it shows. Even the ape makeup is slapped…
Planet of the Apes Franchise Entry #2
An extremely lackluster sequel to the superb Planet of the Apes. The first half of the film focuses on rehashing the original Planet of the Apes with a suspiciously similar substitute for Taylor in the form of another astronaut named Brent, who was tasked with finding him. Taylor himself shows up at the beginning of the film and near the very end where he dies abruptly (Heston is on record requesting a reduced part and death for his character). The second half of the film showcases a cult of telepathic mutants that worship an atomic bomb that after capturing Taylor and Brent is set upon by the ape army which results in the…
A sequel that is more a less a rehash of the first film for the first hour even down to the main lead (Brent) who looked distinctly like Charlton Heston. The remaining 30 minutes was very different and quite bold in its approach and the ending took me by surprise, a decent enough sequel and I'm happy to continue the series.
You ask me to help you? Man is evil! Capable of nothing but destruction!
The film opens up with the final scenes of the previous film, then the first act begins and it pretty much starts out as a retread of Planet of the Apes. Instead of Charlton Heston meeting the apes for the first time, we get James Franciscus meeting the apes for the first time. The social commentary is also quite reduced. It's a shell of the original.
With that said I still had a blast watching this film. It's nowhere near as good as the original, but it's campier, has more action and the pace is brisk. The final act is so bizarre that you…
This shit is ridiculous but it's paced better than the first one and also takes a turn into bat-shit-crazy-land for its second act, so I am on board. James Franciscus has a much more attractive mug than Heston but Heston's got the more slammin' bod' (Heston also has like a foot on Franciscus which ends up being kind of hilarious in their fight scene via mind-control at the end). I was expecting this to be much more of a rehash (the first half is ultimately a verbatim rehash, but as I mentioned it's paced better and there's fewer ape/human 'battles,' which yeah sorry not sorry are actually the most boring parts of these movies for me).
The most amazing thing…
It's interesting.. With an odd ending.
A lot of plot holes and far less fascinating than the first one. But it's not bad.
"Only a dead human is a good human"
I nearly dozed off in the second third off this movie because that part is slow and nothing really interesting is happening - neither visually nor plot wise.
Overall there are some pretty cool effects in this movie - like the earth splitting one towards the beginning - and it is interesting to get to know more about the ape society. But did we really have to see damn in a public bath?
Definitely not as good as the first one, but still quite watchable. Nothing too memorable in this one and I believe I will have forgotten most about its plot in about a month or two but it was a solid watch.
While the first half of this first sequel to Planet of the Apes is pretty much more of the same, while the second half sees a diversion off to something different in the shape of a human colony that has somehow remained undiscovered by the apes for 2000 years.
It's a nice idea, but along with the notion that the apes and these humans have had no contact up until this point, it raises more questions than it answers.
The details of their existence are very sketchy and serves only to point up the problems with the whole concept of apes having evolved so far in so short a time, although I will grant you that this is addressed in…
Kind of holds up.
There is a boatload of inspired insanity in the latter half of this one. The allegory about imperialism on the apes' part doesn't feel fully cooked, and it gets abandoned in favor of something much nuttier. It's such a short movie that it could have explored both the apes' militarism and the weirder underground society of telepathic skinless humans and their atomic bomb god.
But no matter what, I'm eternally grateful to have seen an ape steam bath sequence.
"Are you... what we were... before we learned to talk and made a mess of everything?"
I'm not sure if a sequel was anticipated or not but nevertheless they made one and it is garbage. Charlton Heston had no interest in reprising his role so they eventually decided on a small role for his character. The movie itself is practically a rehash of the first one. The main character is also an astronaut (who looks and talks just like Heston but with abs) that crash lands on the planet in search of Heston who has mysteriously disappeared. He gets captured by the apes and set free by the same ape couple who helped Heston escape. All the while, he's running…
There is some cool and interesting sci-fi stuff in this movie that I won't get into because I so much enjoyed the discovery. Sadly, it takes a whole hour before any of it happens. The first chunk only reestablishes the world and rules we already know with a new protagonist who's doing his absolute Charlton Hestonest. Oddly enough, Heston's is in the movie too, only he looks ten years older. He was never a ripe leading man, but in the two years following The Planet of the Apes, Heston turned.
It's becoming evident that the original series pivots on the "big twist" after the iconic denouement of the first film. If the twists are as good as the one in here, I'm game for the rest. Hopefully they, too, have a scene where the hippie apes stage a sit-in to protest the tyrannical general. Cause that's some good stuff.
General Trump invades the forbidden zone to take much-needed resources from the bomb-worshipping infidels.
USA Up All Night (also known as Up All Night and Up All Night with Rhonda Shear) is an American…