Missing films I can't locate on Letterboxd:
Blonde Ambition (1981)
I Like to Watch / Caballero (1982)
Mona the Virgin…
What would you have done if you had been given absolute power of life and death over everybody else in the whole world?
The perversion behind imperial Rome, the epic story of Rome's mad Emporer. All the details of his cruel, bizarre reign are revealed right here: His unholy sexual passion for his sister, his marriage to Rome's most infamous prostitute, his fiendishly inventive means of disposing those who would oppose him, and more.
It's hard (sorry) to know how to review Caligula, especially in its full length (sorry again) version. I've seen lots of 10/10 reviews on other sites, but you can't help feeling (ahem) that they are actually reviewing the behind-the-scenes story. That of course is incredible, hilarious and tragic - all things that the film should be but isn't. It's swollen (cough), sloppy (cough cough) and gets itself into a proper mess (nurse!). Mark Kermode famously said that there was a great film in here waiting to get out, but surely that disappeared up its own rectum (OK that one's just a single entendre) when Brass started interfering (fnarr) with Gore Vidal's original script. You sense that even before Guccione began…
You know Caligula is going to be a special film when "Penthouse International Presents" appears at the beginning of it (Rosellini and Vidal couldn't obtain financing, so they contacted Bob Guccione, founder of Penthouse, to produce their film).
Caligula is a film that went through a lot of problems during its production. Problems with the actors, problems with the script and problems in post-production. Basically, it was a disastrous collaboration between the persons involved, with a project that ultimately became too big for them. And it shows. Because is bad. Pretty bad.
For staters, we have a lot of unnecessary and awkward sex, which was added in order to promote Guccione's magazine. Random naked people will pop-up in every scene…
What happens when three people with their heads in the clouds and their dicks in the Roman bath-houses fight over ideals and accuracy.
A film happens. A film about Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, fondly (or not) known as Caligula; the most depraved and vile Roman Emperor to be made god of the world. So the books tell us.
McDowell, it seems never got out of character after Kubrick drilled his warped ideas into poor Alex. Then Dr. Samuel Loomis injected the same ideas into Myers. In between, he decided to go all artsy and try a hand at bestiality and incest.
The film is bad taste itself (I'm not saying it does not entertain). HOWEVER, however, Peter O'Toole as…
Watched the original theatrical version with the Guccione porn inserts, which aren't remotely erotic but do nonetheless occasionally puncture the general tedium. (Reconstructed Brass cut could only be superior in the sense that having the measles is preferable to contracting bubonic plague; there's zero chance that a non-terrible movie could be constructed from this footage. In any case, I wasn't about to sit through it again.) Fascinating to see such a stellar cast flailing so pathetically—only Gielgud escapes with his dignity intact, and you'd never guess that McDowell, Mirren, and O'Toole had a speck of talent among them. Also hard to believe that a film so aggressively lurid could be so stultifyingly dull, rarely even rising (or sinking, I guess) to the level of camp. Just long, unpleasant and cruel—the cinematic equivalent of sitting in the Colosseum as Christians are thrown to the lions.
Wow... Every manner of perversion... You almost need to see it to believe it. Ridiculously over the top. Yet, one could argue it could pass as essentially a Game of Thrones spin-off set in ancient Rome...
Narratively it was a good story - in history class you learned of the perversions of Ancient Rome - so making a Caligula biopic a porno makes complete sense.
Helen Mirren was and still is one of the most beautiful women on the planet.
One almost questions the sanity of Malcolm McDowell. Probably should've saved this one for the scavenger hunt that begins tomorrow.
Peter O'Toole was not sober at all.
It didn't disappoint.
I'm glad I waited as long as I did to watch this. I opted to watch the "alternate" cut of this, which apparently has a much more reasonable narrative structure and cuts out all the hardcore footage that Bob Guccione shoehorned in. Even in this more reasonable edit a lot of people would not be expected to like it though, and I understand that. Personally though, I'm a huge fan of exploitationy garbage, and even moreso when it's as lavishly produced as this with a commanding performance from Malcolm McDowell, as a man who here doesn't come across as evil, but instead positively insane, inspiring more pity than hatred.
It's still super weird that my mom always told me about this movie though.
"I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night. Although I have taken the form of Gaius Caligula, I am all men as I am no man and therefore I am a God."
Roger Ebert called it the worst film of all time. It's hailed as the most obscene film that's not a porno. But I'm just going to say it. It is a porno. A two and a half hour long porno staring award winning actors that begins with a bible quote. It's god awful, but for some reason I wasn't appalled or…
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
What the hell did I just watch? And why were Malcolm McDowell, Peter O'Toole, Helen Mirren and John Gielgud in it?
My first interest in this movie was that it depicted Ancient Rome in a more faithful way to how it really was. Not the clean, beautiful, chaste Rome of old Hollywood, but the vile and orgy-ridden bloodbath it was.
The problem is, even though the opening Bible quote seems to reproach Caligula's actions, the movie itself doesn't. Which is why it's a rather cruel movie. I mean, is it really so hard to see that decapitation, rape, castration, torture should not be so coldly, embracingly portrayed? This movie enjoys the cruelty it depicts.
It exposes human bodies, exploits them,…
Possibly one of the worst films I've ever seen and the most blatant about it's awfulness. But it's very cruddiness is what gives it its distinctive and sometimes stomach-churning "charm".
At one point in my life I was dying to be a historian. My two main interest points were Roman and English history. Granted, my areas of expertise were Julius Caesar and Nero (I have written many a page about Nero), and not Caligula, but I know enough, and I knew this was going to be a porn film, so I was not expecting it to be accurate in the least bit.
The excessive sex isn't what bothers me, it's just that it's tasteless. Caligula was a truly despicable human being. I can't sympathize with him at all. He's awful. I want him to fail and die. The only way I can think of incorporating Caligula as a main character…
Malcolm McDowell and Peter O'toole barking help it from being a total disaster.
I don't care what anyone says, I absolutely loved this; long takes of blowjobs and all. It's an erotic look at the mad tyranny of a maniacal man in over his head. I don't quite care for McDowell, but even he can't bring this one down for me. He's competent in the role. Without a doubt some of the most brilliant production design I've seen, and while it's almost 3 hours long, it feels nothing like it. When in Rome...
Missing films I can't locate on Letterboxd:
Movies in which a cock is destroyed.
In anticipation of my upcoming short film, "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome", I've organized…