Typical '100 favorite films' lists aren't cutting it anymore. It feels too narrow, too uptight. Here's a new list, in…
The strong arm of the law.
A tough-on-crime street cop must protect the only surviving witness to a strange murderous cult with far reaching plans.
I'm always going to wonder why Cobra cut that slice of pizza in half with a large pair of scissors.
This is a great movie, but that's not why I'm here. I just want everyone on Letterboxd to know that I shaved Brian Thompson's face. Physically, with my hands, touched and shaved his beard. This is a true story, it's my reality, no one can take this from me.
This is why you should give this film a pass:
- cutting pizza with scissors
- 'This is where the law ends and I start...........sucker!'
- Matchstick toothpick.
- Dennis Leary once said he wanted a cheese helmet so he could put it on and eat cheese the entire day. This is that.
- There is no plot. This is a good thing.
- Lots of A-team violence.
Brigitte Nielsen is awful. It's like watching an East European shot put athlete trying to act.
Without any irony or that "aware of how silly it is" quality people for some goddamn reason champion in action movies these days, this Sylvester Stallone penned thriller hurls a big sleazeball of post-Dirty Harry fascism at your eyeballs faster than you can say MTV. I would argue that Cannon Films generally, and this film in particular, represent the nexus of low brow exploitation and slick Hollywood spectacle (and perhaps its apex too). This is a nasty and mean piece of work, that, though never overtly graphic, feels as grimy and ludicrous as some of the stuff that played on 42nd Street in the decade prior. It's all coated in a sheen of style from director George P. Cosmatos and…
Gotta love the AWSOM 50 license plate; delicately complex writing from Sly. I mean, all Cobra brings to battle with him is a match to chew on and a Coors to sip on -- ain't no goofs or gaffs under those shades, my friends. If there's one thing that I learned from this movie, it's never to go to battle without a goddamn match between my teeth. I'd take a baker's dozen punches to the Adam's apple before smackin' back without my handy-dandy wick... can't be poppin' caps before, first and foremost, taking care of that oral fixation.
I don't mean to get mathematical on ya but I'd say that the oral fixation, the match, the shades and the license…
"Go ahead, I don’t shop here."
The overcompensation of violence when rule of law comes up short.
Sylvester Stallone plays Marion 'Cobra' Cobretti. His gun has a cobra on the handle and he drives a black 1950 Mercury Monterey with the license plate "AWSOM 50". He wears reflective aviators and chews on a matchstick. He gives his coworkers nutritional advice ("Try some fish!") and tells them not to swear in public. He shoves a journalist's face at a corpse when they ask if he used excessive force ("Tell that to their family!"). But more important than anything else, he eats cold pizza with scissors.
Cobra feels like the result of a semi-dystopian 80's crime thriller being made by a recent…
Cobra is a detective film with no interest in detective work. Cobra is Sylvester Stallone being tired of ripping off Schwarzenegger, so he takes a try at Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry. Cobra is awesome from beginning to end.
Evil crazy gang runs around murdering attractive women. Sly is a cop. Who cares about the plot! This film has action, lots of it. An epic finally with a ridiculous death count. A sweet soundtrack and a music video thrown in there for good measure. The snappy editing and the "Blade Runner on steroids" cinematography keeps the energy up for the run-time. And (suspiciously like Dirty Harry) Cobra has no sappy backstory or drawn out monologue to explain why he is who he is. His parents didn't die. Nobody killed his puppy. He just fucking hates crime.
There is also a Shining reference that made me contemplate where the line goes between homage and ripping off. So bonus points for that.
Not just bad, but offensively so. Between the problems on set as well as the post-production woes, the movie is almost entirely incomprehensible with an absolutely awful performance by Nielsen. Stallone even went to the author of the book the movie was based on and asked if the book could be re-released with his name as the author. What absolute bullshit.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
The year is 1986. The Soviets have mostly been cowed and America's greatest enemies are Drugs and Anarchists. "Terrorism" hasn't yet entered the popular lexicon. Our nation's police force is society's first -- and last -- defense against degenerates that seek to upset the peaceable lives of law-abiding citizens.
There's just something about cars and guns and playing by your own rules (and stringing bad guys up and burning them alive) that's so much more appealing than the superhero movies of today. I'm glad the world doesn't actually work this way, of course, but Cobretti just oozes cool and there's no denying it.
"Cobretti! Do you know you have an attitude problem?"
"Yeah. But it's just a little one."
And then half the city explodes.
Watched with director's commentary that is more like an audio description track than anything useful or interesting. Nevertheless, top '80s action movie.
something between action or comedy
The American bad movie that encapsulates all the American bad movies of the 80s. It's impossible not to watch it as an involuntary comedy, especially with those laughable script and performances. It still holds the best line of dialogue dubbed in Brazilian Portuguese: "Você é um cocô. E eu vou matar você." www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYSJLrilrEo
Backgrounder in living room VHS hole while notecarding new script. VHS.
Holy shit! Why was I not exposed to this when I was a kid watching First Blood, Terminator and Lethal Weapon. I don't know why my parents didn't like this. It's not overly violent or gory.
Anyway, I dig it a lot. Cobra is a awesome tough guy. He's like the Fonz with a gun. Cobra and Stone Cold would be great partners.
Watched this on VHS in a caravan and it was one of my favourite filmgoing experiences this year.