there's a thing where you adds 'in my ass' to the end of a movie title, so here are some…
The strong arm of the law.
A tough-on-crime street cop must protect the only surviving witness to a strange murderous cult with far reaching plans.
I'm always going to wonder why Cobra cut that slice of pizza in half with a large pair of scissors.
This is a great movie, but that's not why I'm here. I just want everyone on Letterboxd to know that I shaved Brian Thompson's face. Physically, with my hands, touched and shaved his beard. This is a true story, it's my reality, no one can take this from me.
This is why you should give this film a pass:
- cutting pizza with scissors
- 'This is where the law ends and I start...........sucker!'
- Matchstick toothpick.
- Dennis Leary once said he wanted a cheese helmet so he could put it on and eat cheese the entire day. This is that.
- There is no plot. This is a good thing.
- Lots of A-team violence.
Brigitte Nielsen is awful. It's like watching an East European shot put athlete trying to act.
Gotta love the AWSOM 50 license plate; delicately complex writing from Sly. I mean, all Cobra brings to battle with him is a match to chew on and a Coors to sip on -- ain't no goofs or gaffs under those shades, my friends. If there's one thing that I learned from this movie, it's never to go to battle without a goddamn match between my teeth. I'd take a baker's dozen punches to the Adam's apple before smackin' back without my handy-dandy wick... can't be poppin' caps before, first and foremost, taking care of that oral fixation.
I don't mean to get mathematical on ya but I'd say that the oral fixation, the match, the shades and the license…
Without any irony or that "aware of how silly it is" quality people for some goddamn reason champion in action movies these days, this Sylvester Stallone penned thriller hurls a big sleazeball of post-Dirty Harry fascism at your eyeballs faster than you can say MTV. I would argue that Cannon Films generally, and this film in particular, represent the nexus of low brow exploitation and slick Hollywood spectacle (and perhaps its apex too). This is a nasty and mean piece of work, that, though never overtly graphic, feels as grimy and ludicrous as some of the stuff that played on 42nd Street in the decade prior. It's all coated in a sheen of style from director George P. Cosmatos and…
"Go ahead, I don’t shop here."
The overcompensation of violence when rule of law comes up short.
Sylvester Stallone plays Marion 'Cobra' Cobretti. His gun has a cobra on the handle and he drives a black 1950 Mercury Monterey with the license plate "AWSOM 50". He wears reflective aviators and chews on a matchstick. He gives his coworkers nutritional advice ("Try some fish!") and tells them not to swear in public. He shoves a journalist's face at a corpse when they ask if he used excessive force ("Tell that to their family!"). But more important than anything else, he eats cold pizza with scissors.
Cobra feels like the result of a semi-dystopian 80's crime thriller being made by a recent…
With all its flaws I still like this picture. It's also interesting that most of the things we never saw later but are etched in our minds come from this movie. Like cold pizza sliced with scissors for example. And the strange car Sly drives around. And, yeah, I would still like to see that 2h workprint that people say exists.
Per me è un cult assoluto, ogni volta che vedo delle patatine con ketchup e maionese penso automaticamente a questo film, una specie di madeleine proustiana. E poi la notte resa in quel modo brutale, quasi horror: un po’ come in Cruising, nella saga de Il giustiziere e nei film di Lustig (ma anche The Warriors, I falchi della notte, i film dell’ispettore Callaghan e tanti altri, perfino un Venerdì 13) c’è quel modo di rappresentare la notte metropolitana, tipicamente anni ’70-’80, che era così terribilmente cinematografica e che non sopravvisse alle bonifiche operate dai vari Giuliani & Co..
"I used everything I had."
"You have the right to remain silent."
(Viewing Format: 2011 Blu-ray, 1.85:1 HD)
[2016 Challenge: 233/366]
Stallones COMMANDO, nur ein wenig schlechter.
Beverly Hills Cock
You've seen the cover, you've heard it referenced. You know it pushes Stallone's cool to camp levels and you know that 19 years before Michael Bay and co. came up with an actual reason why his cops drove cool cars, Cobra just does.
What you might not know is that the action is tense and mostly great, and it's disgustingly well shot at times.
It would be criminal to rate this more than three stars, but I won't prosecute anyone who does.
Hey dirtbag, you're a lousy shot. I don't like lousy shots. You wasted a kid... for nothing. Now I think it's time to waste you!
The Stallone-iest Stallone film that ever Stalloned.
You know the drill.
P.S.: Jackie Chan movies with Shu Qi or Ziyi Zhang in the role.