I FUCKING LOVE COLOURING
The strong arm of the law.
A tough-on-crime street cop must protect the only surviving witness to a strange murderous cult with far reaching plans.
This is why you should give this film a pass:
- cutting pizza with scissors
- 'This is where the law ends and I start...........sucker!'
- Matchstick toothpick.
- Dennis Leary once said he wanted a cheese helmet so he could put it on and eat cheese the entire day. This is that.
- There is no plot. This is a good thing.
- Lots of A-team violence.
Brigitte Nielsen is awful. It's like watching an East European shot put athlete trying to act.
Without any irony or that "aware of how silly it is" quality people for some goddamn reason champion in action movies these days, this Sylvester Stallone penned thriller hurls a big sleazeball of post-Dirty Harry fascism at your eyeballs faster than you can say MTV. I would argue that Cannon Films generally, and this film in particular, represent the nexus of low brow exploitation and slick Hollywood spectacle (and perhaps its apex too). This is a nasty and mean piece of work, that, though never overtly graphic, feels as grimy and ludicrous as some of the stuff that played on 42nd Street in the decade prior. It's all coated in a sheen of style from director George P. Cosmatos and…
"This is where the law stops and I start - sucker!"
"Go ahead, I don’t shop here."
The overcompensation of violence when rule of law comes up short.
Sylvester Stallone plays Marion 'Cobra' Cobretti. His gun has a cobra on the handle and he drives a black 1950 Mercury Monterey with the license plate "AWSOM 50". He wears reflective aviators and chews on a matchstick. He gives his coworkers nutritional advice ("Try some fish!") and tells them not to swear in public. He shoves a journalist's face at a corpse when they ask if he used excessive force ("Tell that to their family!"). But more important than anything else, he eats cold pizza with scissors.
Cobra feels like the result of a semi-dystopian 80's crime thriller being made by a recent…
I want to give this 5 stars, but I feel that might be too dishonest (or perhaps it's a new level of honesty I'm not ready to admit yet). Takes the DIRTY HARRY ethos to its logical confusion, as senseless violence begats senseless police work amidst a war-torn wasteland rife with product placement. Although pretty ahead of its time for having a climactic factory shootout years before either ROBOCOP or TERMINATOR 2. The movie tips its allegiances, however, by showing a Pepsi sign obliterated by a shotgun blast while a hero cop enjoys a refreshing Coca-Cola Classic™.
Bonus: This is a Christmas movie!
COBRA is certainly a unique experience. Nothing about it makes any sense, and right from the beginning the tone is set as something surreal, bordering on science fiction. It's mean as hell and the strange camera angles turn it into a kind of dirty nightmare. If Stallone was wilder it would have resembled a comic book, instead his deadpan manner turns him into a charming little Terminator. There is no real villain, only a vague army of murderous psychopaths, making the story into a paranoid vision of our society. If you've ever wondered what it's like to have social anxiety this is pretty close - Cobra is too busy battling this endless stream of faceless monsters to have an actual…
"Cobra" was made at a time when Sylvester Stallone was at the height of his most egocentric. He was one of the biggest box office draws in the world, and his films at the time reflected an inflated sense of worth.
This particular film was probably the worst offender, making it so laughable that I'm forced to recommend it. Stallone himself gives possibly the worst performance of his career, which when you consider some of his comedies is really saying something. It's an embarrassingly one-note performance completely devoid of personality, and he's forced to spout some of the worst one-liners you'll ever hear.
The rest of the characters are so underwritten that they can be labeled generically: partner, bad guy,…
Some fun action scenes doesn't exactly hide the fact that Stallone is so into his machoness that he becomes a parody of himself, growing into the source of all bad action hero parodies ever to come out. It's impossible not to laugh at him, especially when you hear about his diva escapades during the shoot (he even went so far as to want to have the book the script was based on re-released with himself as the author...). And Brigitte Nielsen?! What the hell? She does not deliver a single piece of dialogue well.
But then again, this was made in the 80s. I guess it's excused. Man, I would really love to see all those scenes cut for violence...
Cobra is action packed and super fun. For an 1980's action movie, it is right around 5/5. I liked just about everything about Cobra except: nobody seems to bleed when they are killed, no cheesy back story about how Cobra became how he is, and how Brigitte Nielsen's accent changes back and forth between European and American.
Every 80s action star had at least one action-slasher movie – Charles Bronson had 10 to Midnight and Murphy's Law, Chuck Norris had Silent Rage, Arnold Schwarzenegger had The Terminator. And Sylvester Stallone had Cobra, which I somehow hadn't seen until now. I'm sorry I waited so long to watch it, because it's a very entertaining movie that satisfies both as an action vehicle for Stallone and as a slasher movie with Brigitte Nielson fulfilling the Jamie Lee Curtis type of role very well. There are scenes in a hospital that are rather chilling and quite reminiscent of Halloween II. The movie sort of falls apart after that, when it switches gears to full-on action mode, but it's still very…
By all accounts, I should love this. Stallone, 80's action cheese, no CGI and hammy one liners. I guess I feel let down from the opening scene which sets the tone of the film as Stallone doing an Arnold picture. He's in a grocery store, has a sip of beer, cracks wise, and delivers a hell of a one-liner in, "Go ahead, I don't shop here." That is a line that was tailor made for Ahhnuld but Stallone delivers it well enough, almost to the point where you think that he might be in on the joke like Arnie was, which is why his films were more fun.
Therein lies my dilemma with Cobra. I thought it might be a…
good old classic with a cool Stallone and a lovely Brigitte Nielsen.... Still like it.
Een seriemoordenaar plaagt de stad, en een agent met de bijnaam Cobra is hem op het spoor. Cobra komt er achter dat de moordenaar eigenlijk een groep getrainde huurmoordenaars is, met banden met de politie. Om zijn missie te volbrengen zal hij in z'n eentje te werk moeten gaan.
Op 10-jarige leeftijd (ik ben van 1983) was Arnold Schwarzenegger mijn actieheld. Daar kon niets tussen komen. Destijds was er echter nog een andere actieheld van wereldformaat, genaamd Sylvester Stallone. De wereld was verdeeld. Of je was een Stallone-fan, of je was een Schwarzenegger-fan. Ik behoorde tot de laatste groep. Stallone had tenslotte niet die coole one-liners. Hij was geen Terminator. Hij had geen grappig Duits accent. Hij had niet Schwarzeneggers…
Beautifully shot and atmospheric, hilariously sadistic and knowingly crypto-fascist, Cobra is 80's carat gold.
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