Reviews of Conan the Barbarian 2011
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After all the hacking, slashing, grunting, yelling, stabbing, clubbing, punching, scratching, beating, screaming, scowling, cutting, sexual suggestions and beheadings (and there's a lot of each); it's quite admirable how all involved in this movie fail to effectively play out and resolve the only character arc in the film: Conan's temper making him vulnerable in battle. Their version of resolving it: he gets more angry, problem solved!
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I was genuinely irritated by how moronic this film was. Sure some of the action was entertaining - even when it seemed totally unnecessary and slightly sadistic, as a lot of it did (I have no problem with violence in films, but when the hero acts like a psycho and its presented in a cartoony fantasy way I can't help but feel a bit put-off) - but could they not have at least put some effort into making the characters…
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Couldn't even make it to halfway... scraping the bottom of the Netflix barrel
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So glad I didn't rush out to see this in the theaters. And I regret a bit watching it last night when I could have watched something . . . anything else. When you spend less time wondering "What is this person up to?" and more time wondering "WTF is up with her hair and make-up?", it's hard to stay in the movie. And after the bank he may have made off of "Avatar," you would think Stephen Lang wouldn't…
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Let me start by saying that Conan the Barbarian is my favorite fantasy series ever. Thame of Grones is quickly becoming a contender for that spot but that's besides the point (I love you to Tolkien but let's be fair, you're just a tad soft for my tastes). I seriously enjoy good pulp and Conan the Mary Sue is like the cream of the self indulgent wildly misogynistic crop. Let me also say that there has been nothing Conan related…
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It had potential but never quite got there.
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Thought it might improve with a second viewing.
Thought wrong.
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I went into this with the idea that it couldn't possibly be worse than the original. At least this one seemed to try to do more for plot and acting than the original. I'll have to give it a second watch sometime because I only got through about half before I got distracted.
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I didn't think it was that bad. Some elements were better than the 1982 version and some were not as good.
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Second-rate fantasy-adventure remake with none of the pulpish charm of the original. Dismal stuff altogether.
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Khal Drogo kicking weird amounts of ass sounds like such a promising idea on paper. But it came off as just...awful. Not enough Daenerys Targaryen, if you ask me.
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a major disappointment, I felt after seeing Game of Thrones, the lead actor really had what it took to make this movie stellar. I was wrong.