Each week I'll post a new letter and all you have to do is nominate a film that you think…
Crank: High Voltage
He was dead...But he got better
Chelios faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working.
While I prefer the original as it had a more cohesive plot and the silliness was kept down to a mild roar!
I can also appreciate this one for its extreme excesses!
T and A!
Kinky Sex in Public!
Movies like these exist in another realm. They do not make sense. They are proud of it. They celebrate a full-testosterone, chauvinistic, sexist, semi-pornographic, parodic, overtly violent and electricity-charged tsunami of the ideas that precocious adolescents under the influence of nerve-altering hallucinogenics would have if given lots of budget, a camera and lots of porn actors incuding Ron Jeremy in the cast to work for them in order to party with basically everything that is wrong with our insane society.
Yes, I love it. This is art.
A tracking shot might be moral
But no morals here.
"NO! My Hermes handbag!"
Fuck You de cinema.
An immoral cinema
Is also a free cinema.
Not a spectacle we want
But a spectacle we deserve.
Crank 2: High Voltage is everything you'd expect from the sequel to Crank. Uglier! Sexister! Racister! More homophobicer! Over-the-topier! And if Crank wasn't quite enough for you, you'll probably prefer this one. But for me, Crank hit the exact line of ridiculousness. There's too much repetition, too much tits, and too overt (yeah, kind of a silly complaint about these movies but) a way of showing the themes. The repetition of the news anchor, in particular, never worked for me.
But it's still an insane and enjoyable second installment in this series. Highlights include the intertitle that announces, "9 SECONDS LATER" and when Chev and the man he's been chasing for most of the movie become kaiju style puppets and…
Crank 2: I Can't Believe We Got Away With Making Another One of These
Vulgar Pynchon, though Pynchon was pretty damn vulgar in the first place.
Not as much fun as the first but still filled with enough madcap shock humor to make you say WTF!?
"Fuck You Chelios"
Chelios is back from what should have been his death the only difference is... his hearts gone and instead replaced with an artificial heart with the battery life of yeah you guessed it ONE HOUR! Chelios needs to get his heart back before his heart runs out of juice and he will do anything to get his hands back on his heart!
Crank:High Voltage how you entertained me but did you did you do a good enough job as your older brother crank? Sadly no.. But you still entertained me don't worry! Crank:High Voltage had more over the top violence and rampage probably just that bit too over the top which is an odd thing to say…
It's always you, Chev. It's always you.
Except when it's John McClane or Joe Hollenbeck.
as a woman I cannot rate this movie
Gesù. Voglio un Crank III, e lo voglio ORA.
Marvelous. When a scene mutated into a kaiju fight I could barely breathe from laughing so hard. I look forward to the third installment, although I'm curious how Neveldine/Taylor could possibly top themselves.
The best video game movie ever made and it's not even based on a video game!
There's a bit where Jason Statham kills three people in a limo, says "Chicken... And broccoli!" for absolutely no reason, then dives out before it crashes. Even more ridiculous than the first film, and that also counts against it, but, you know what? It's Crank. I doubt there will ever be a time in which I do not want to see a film in which Jason Statham plugs an electricity pylon into his balls.
It's like the movie stops halfway through every scene and decides it's going to be a porno. 'The Expendables' is a good example of a good action movie that doesn't take itself too seriously; 'Crank' doesn't take itself seriously at all.
- Celine and Julie Go Boating
- City of Life and Death
- City of God
- Schramm: Into the Mind of a Serial Killer
- Love Exposure
- Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom
- Tetsuo: The Iron Man
- Father's Day
Movies in which a cock is destroyed.
In anticipation of my upcoming short film, "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome", I've organized…
- The Super Inframan
- Cheap Thrills
- Enter the Void
- Evil Bong