Each week I'll post a new letter and all you have to do is nominate a film that you think…
Crank: High Voltage
He was dead...But he got better
Chelios faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working.
While I prefer the original as it had a more cohesive plot and the silliness was kept down to a mild roar!
I can also appreciate this one for its extreme excesses!
T and A!
Kinky Sex in Public!
Movies like these exist in another realm. They do not make sense. They are proud of it. They celebrate a full-testosterone, chauvinistic, sexist, semi-pornographic, parodic, overtly violent and electricity-charged tsunami of the ideas that precocious adolescents under the influence of nerve-altering hallucinogenics would have if given lots of budget, a camera and lots of porn actors incuding Ron Jeremy in the cast to work for them in order to party with basically everything that is wrong with our insane society.
Yes, I love it. This is art.
A tracking shot might be moral
But no morals here.
"NO! My Hermes handbag!"
Fuck You de cinema.
An immoral cinema
Is also a free cinema.
Not a spectacle we want
But a spectacle we deserve.
Crank 2: High Voltage is everything you'd expect from the sequel to Crank. Uglier! Sexister! Racister! More homophobicer! Over-the-topier! And if Crank wasn't quite enough for you, you'll probably prefer this one. But for me, Crank hit the exact line of ridiculousness. There's too much repetition, too much tits, and too overt (yeah, kind of a silly complaint about these movies but) a way of showing the themes. The repetition of the news anchor, in particular, never worked for me.
But it's still an insane and enjoyable second installment in this series. Highlights include the intertitle that announces, "9 SECONDS LATER" and when Chev and the man he's been chasing for most of the movie become kaiju style puppets and…
Crank 2: I Can't Believe We Got Away With Making Another One of These
Goddamn, a third Crank movie needs to happen.
Are you listening, Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor? Make Crank 3.
It's like if Lloyd Kaufman took every drug imaginable right after a late night of playing video games, maury povich, Godzilla, and MTV
If I could travel back in time 100 years to show people one film from the future, I'd show them Crank. I'd also show them Crank: High Voltage.
If you didn't like Crank you won't like the sequel since they're basically the same movie. I think both of these movies are masterpieces for what they are, absolutely insane action movies filled with some incredible over the top set pieces and extremely creative camerawork from Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. The duo has definitely proved themselves as some of the best and definitely the most unique action directors out there. There really isn't anyone who does what these guys do.
Even if someone didn't like the Crank movies, even they'd have to admit how freakin creative these movies are. Hopefully there will one day be Crank 3, but I like that they're taking their time with .
Silly fun... ridiculous and ostentatious
I just....I have no words. On some perverse plane of existence this qualifies as "art", and I think it may just be the one we are living on.
Sequels suck. In general. They’re usually a bad idea. Because there already was the thing. The one thing that everybody put all their goddamn all into to make and make it cool and interesting or funny or scary and they did it. It turned out good. People responded, it made the creators money, everybody wins. But movies are a business. A big business. And the only thing that business knows how to do is assume what you want to see based on what you throw your money at. So when something is different and it can create some buzz, that business listens. A sequel is born. Of course everybody on paper thinks it’s a horrible idea and the original writers…
FINALLY watched this with the Zodiac Motherfucker commentary track. Zero insight provided in exchange for the feeling of watching this action masterpiece next to my id personified. Fair trade.
- "BAI LING? MORE LIKE BUY THE DVD AND POUND THE FUCKING MONKEY EVERY NIGHT."
- "THIS GUY IS FROM THAT ONE SHOW. AH FUCK WHAT IS IT. THAT SHOW THAT ONE CHICK TRIED TO GET ME TO WATCH," referring to Glenn Howerton from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," who has a hilarious therapy scene.
- "AMY SMART LOOKS LIKE AGENT OLIVIA HOTNESS FROM THE SHIELD.'"
Trading WHOA SHITs and FUCK YEAHs with Zodiac Motherfucker is a memory I'll treasure forever, along with my Blu-Ray of "Crank: High Voltage."
Chev Chelios has survived this long thanks to a nearly-indestructible heart and his will to survive. He faces a new challenge when a Chinese mobster replaces that heart with a new battery-powered one, one that requires a steady application of electricity to run. This movie is crazy and out of control in a fun and silly way.
- Celine and Julie Go Boating
- City of Life and Death
- City of God
- The Super Inframan
- Cheap Thrills
- Enter the Void
- Evil Bong
- Love Exposure
- Tetsuo: The Iron Man
- Ginger Snaps
This will serve as my ever-changing list of favorite films. In order.
Click See Notes to see links to my…