Peeping Tom, Night of the Hunter and a whole host of older films were ignored or given bad reviews upon…
There are a thousand ways to raise your adrenaline. Today, Chev Chelios will need every single one.
Professional assassin Chev Chelios learns his rival has injected him with a poison that will kill him if his heart rate drops.
Does it look like I got cunt written on my head? Who do you think you are fucking with?
Crank is an experience unlike any other. Being strapped down to a chair in a dark room and getting doped up with any and every drug under the sun designed to increase your heart rate and perspiration all the while being surrounded by dozens of TV sets blaring fragmented heavy metal music videos is the only comparable physical equivalent.
A nightmare to some**
But to a select few, Crank is a transcendent experience that has "cult status" written on its forehead. No, not the word "cunt." This film on the outside appears to be an eccentric, sleazy, stupid, dumbfoundedly bizarre…
Relentless frenetic action accompanied by pulse pounding kickass tunes! Gratuitous entertainment fraught with unbridled badassness!
Hyperactive adrenaline pumping violence and mayhem!
This is a better remake of Speed, with Statham being the bus
Um... I have no idea how to review this movie. It is illogical, weird, dumb, but ITS FUN! I have never been a big fan of Jason Statham and his over the top action movies, but I kinda like this one.
Crank is, in a sense, awful. I mean it's really, really dreadful. It looks as though a madman managed to get the entire editorial facilities of a cheap piece of software, give it a chunk of footage, and randomly select one style for each scene. It's mad. It's absolutely mad. It makes no sense at all. And that's precisely why I liked it so much. No film I have ever seen better evidences the purposes of beginning a narrative in media res: "in the middle of things". It's maybe half an hour before you're given any idea whatsoever of what's actually happening, so frenetic is the pacing of the action. Normally such mania…
About a third of the way in, Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is standing in a hospital gown at a bay of TV screens. The report on the screens is about him, and what he has already "accomplished" so far in the film. One dead, others injured, hundreds of thousands of dollars of property damage. A man looks at Chev, recognizes him as the man wanted by the police, and then looks back at the TV screens.
When I watch action movies, I often find myself acting like this stranger who, rather than respond in any way to the mayhem in front of him, turns back to the screen. I see the toll each of these films diegetically leaves in its…
Crank moves at a million hours, and all whilst receiving a blowjob. The peak of it's ridiculous/sublime tightrope walk genre and a genuinely brilliant film.
At some point, the film is far too crazy that one either wishes it to stop its ludicrous on-screen action or just stops caring altogether.
The best Statham action movie by far, he rocks as Chev Chelios! The film is packed to the gills with action and humour, no one can pull it off like Statham!
Crank's plot makes very little sense, but this is an action flick where likewise that matters very little. The movie itself is insane and, accordingly, insanely entertaining and full of adrenaline. Really fast-paced, with a good sense of humor, a cool soundtrack, and with Jason Statham excelling at what he's good at, this film is pure and healthy mindless fun.
Though everything about Crank should trigger my standard issue Cinephile Dogshit Receptors, I couldn't help but have the utmost fun with Crank. It's as if Tim and Eric, the action scenes from Shoot 'Em Up, and Jason Statham had a fucked up baby.
If you hate it, cool, but I certainly didn't.
If I could travel back in time 100 years to show people one film from the future, I'd show them Crank.
The filmmakers are self-aware that 'Crank' isn't going to win any Oscars, but the directing and editing is so obnoxious, it can't even deliver the fun that comes with a cheesy Jason Statham action movie.
This has to be the only film which features it's protagonist getting a blowjob in amidst a high-octane car chase.
Crank is shove-your-hand-in-a-waffle-iron-whilst-daydreaming-like-Gary-fucking-Busey-and-eating-sardines-on-your-cornflakes-from-a-shower-cap-crazy, and it's unrelentingly thrilling/hilarious/uncontrollable...
- Eyes Wide Shut
- Speed Racer
- Marie Antoinette
- Spring Breakers
- Pulp Fiction
- Fight Club
- Blade Runner
- The Big Lebowski
- The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of…
- The Pitfall
- The Night of the Hunter
- Dead Man's Letters
- Reservoir Dogs
What are the great directorial debuts?
To be clear, I am talking about feature debuts - they may have worked…