Step One: Go to www.random.org.
Step Two: Pick a Number.
Step Three: GET WEIRD!
There are a thousand ways to raise your adrenaline. Today, Chev Chelios will need every single one.
Professional assassin Chev Chelios learns his rival has injected him with a poison that will kill him if his heart rate drops.
This is a better remake of Speed, with Statham being the bus
Does it look like I got cunt written on my head? Who do you think you are fucking with?
Crank is an experience unlike any other. Being strapped down to a chair in a dark room and getting doped up with any and every drug under the sun designed to increase your heart rate and perspiration all the while being surrounded by dozens of TV sets blaring fragmented heavy metal music videos is the only comparable physical equivalent.
A nightmare to some**
But to a select few, Crank is a transcendent experience that has "cult status" written on its forehead. No, not the word "cunt." This film on the outside appears to be an eccentric, sleazy, stupid, dumbfoundedly bizarre…
I have a bad cold at the moment and needed to find a way to kick myself out of my dopey state, something which it turns out can be achieved by watching the heart-pounding Crank; a film that'll make you feel like a man even if you’re not man at all.
While this Speed-inspired action movie does come across a bit like an energy drink commercial at times, it features an iconic Statham role and really couldn’t give a rat’s ass what you think about it. It’s a film to make you feel tough as nails as the stone-faced Brit shows off his most agile badassery while engaging in extreme substance abuse and political incorrectness.
Crank is by no means…
Um... I have no idea how to review this movie. It is illogical, weird, dumb, but ITS FUN! I have never been a big fan of Jason Statham and his over the top action movies, but I kinda like this one.
I've been pretty depressed over the past few days for reasons, and this put a much needed and much appreciated smile on my face.
You know when you're bored playing GTA, and you decide to enable every cheat code just to fuck around for an hour? This is that, in movie form.
About a third of the way in, Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is standing in a hospital gown at a bay of TV screens. The report on the screens is about him, and what he has already "accomplished" so far in the film. One dead, others injured, hundreds of thousands of dollars of property damage. A man looks at Chev, recognizes him as the man wanted by the police, and then looks back at the TV screens.
When I watch action movies, I often find myself acting like this stranger who, rather than respond in any way to the mayhem in front of him, turns back to the screen. I see the toll each of these films diegetically leaves in its…
It's trash, but such glorious trash it is.
Like a combination of Tony Hawk Underground and a Red Bull ad
Had a great time with this one
A GOOD TIME
I have fond memories of when I took a chance on this at the multiplex and was amazed by what I came across. This is the start of my love affair with Jason Statham.
Lots of people raved about Statham's comedic turn in last year's SPY, but I prefer his performance here. I imagine him being pitched the movie as "Speed--but your character is the bus!" and him responding "Sure, why not?"
I was having fun and feeling like this was inspired somehow on the early GTA's... but THEN the sex scenes came and my eyes are rolling back since then
(do i really need to watch the second one..? somebody save me)
Lo que podría haber sido un thriller del montón acaba resultando ser una cinta llena de personalidad y frescura. Todo gracias a un Jason Statham pasado de vueltas y, sobretodo, a la hiperactividad estilística en la dirección que el duo Neveldine/Taylor imprime en este filme, el cual está repleto con momentos tan "over-the-top" que acaban siendo memorables.
Step One: Go to www.random.org.
I fucking love shopping centre violence.
These are the greatest films I have ever seen.
I will update as any that are worthy pass my eyes.…