• Fish

    ★★ Watched by Fish 15 Nov, 2015

    My line to Andrea upon finishing 'Dark Floors', was; 'This is the first time I am disappointed that a film wasn't cheesy and shit.' And for once, she whole heartedly agreed.

    Dark Floors is by no means a masterpiece, I mean come on, it was marketed as 'The Lordi Motion Picture'. But the fact that Lordi are in this, is almost irrelevant. It pretty much could have been any monsters or daemons attacking our group.

    It is tricky at times…


  • John (Magic Rat Movies)

    ★★★ Watched by John (Magic Rat Movies) 27 Oct, 2015

    Shocktober 2015 - 31 Nations Of Fear Film #27

    I can't think of too many horror films starring Eurovision Song Contest winners, but this Finnish fright flick is certainly one. Fortunately it's not the Lordi vanity project I'd feared - Lordi if you're unfamiliar with their oeuvre are a shameless Scandianavian rip-off of GWAR, with similar monster make-up, but less projectile spraying of bodily fluids!
    This horror hospital is a sort of pseudo Silent Hill, a nightmarish, surreal shocker, low…


  • Rick DeSantis

    Rewatched by Rick DeSantis 03 Nov, 2015

    This movie starts with a lot of potential but fails miserably. The creepy atmosphere works very much like a cross between Silent Hill and The Langoliers but then fades fast as the creatures and ghosts start appearing. With no explanations given this movie gets extremely confusing and doesn't get any better. I know this is a Lordi vehicle but if your not a fan good luck. Dominique McElligott and Skye Bennett are the bright spots.


  • Henry Chivers

    ★½ Watched by Henry Chivers 26 Oct, 2015

    So a Finnish heavy metal band won the eurovision song contest and then made a horror film...as you do. It's not good but the idea was good. Six people in a hospital get on a elevator. When the doors open on the next floor everyone has gone and it's all run down and dark. There's a good idea for a mystery story here. The sets are good and some of the effects are good. The characters needed more work. The…


  • Wildfox

    ★★½ Rewatched by Wildfox 30 Mar, 2015

    I watched this once before forever ago so I remembered bits of it and the end but not much else so I thought I'd give it another watch.
    Not an amazing or particularly groundbreaking movie that just gets confusing as hell towards the end. I still enjoyed it in part though.


  • Joanne Myers

    Watched by Joanne Myers 19 Nov, 2014

    This movie doesn't even deserve a review it was that bad. I was extremely surprised I stuck it out to the end.

    The acting from the young girl was good, and it starred Noah Huntley so there was something to look at - but nothing could save this shit storm of a film.

    A Finnish film which would probably have been better filmed in Finnish with subtitles, instead of an attempt to make it British/USian.

    Lordi, that won Eurovision 2007…


  • Meri Peltola

    Watched by Meri Peltola 26 Aug, 2014

    Some nice visuals here and there, but this movie would have really benefited from a plot, interesting characters and dialogue that didn't include the lines "let's get out of here" and "what was that?"


  • Christopher

    ★★½ Watched by Christopher 24 Jun, 2014

    The movie had so much potential. The concept was interesting and if there was maybe a bit more explanation, it could have easily gotten at least a 3 and half stars.


  • boysmithers

    ★★★ Watched by boysmithers 07 Jun, 2014

    Shit horror starring Finland's premier GWAR impersonators, Lordi! People are trapped in a spooky hospital and terrorised by rubber suited Eurovision winners. Despite the rubbish monsters it's relatively decent and reminiscent of a Stephen King story, e.g. The Langoliers.


  • Jessy Williams

    Watched by Jessy Williams 20 Apr, 2014



  • Chris Harvey

    ★★ Watched by Chris Harvey 20 Apr, 2014



  • Päivi Reijonen

    ★½ Watched by Päivi Reijonen 30 Jan, 2014

    WTF? What was that all about?
    Suddenly they are in abandoned part of the hospital, or some kind of time loop or are they actually in the mind of the autistic girl... We don't know. Nor do we care.