• Roger Joseph Ebert

    ★★★ Added by Roger Joseph Ebert

    Tim Burton's "Dark Shadows" is all dressed up with nowhere to go, an elegant production without a central drive. It offers wonderful things, but they aren't what's important. It's as if Burton directed at arm's length, unwilling to find juice in the story. Yes, the original TV soap opera is a cult classic, but he approaches his "Dark Shadows" as an amusing trifle, and for a feature-length film, we need more than attitude to sink our teeth in.

    The gripping…

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  • Daniel Charchuk

    ★½ Watched by Daniel Charchuk 15 May, 2012

    Yeah, this sucked. I don't know what I found more baffling, the ridiculous plot developments of the third act or the fact that Alice Cooper was apparently playing himself forty years younger.

    I also have no idea what accent Eva Green was supposed to have, and I'm sure she doesn't know either.

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  • Kent

    ★★★ Watched by Kent 29 Sep, 2012

    56/100

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  • cineedo
  • Sc8lo

    ★★★ Watched by Sc8lo 12 Oct, 2012

    Not as bad as I was expecting. Reminded me very much of Beetleguise.

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  • Kip Bowman Jr.

    ★★★½ Rewatched by Kip Bowman Jr. 04 Apr, 2014

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

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  • mook

    ★★ Watched by mook 29 Mar, 2014 4

    I'd never heard of this concept before the film came out but apparently it existed as a TV show in America in the 1960/70's with a ridiculous 1,225(!) episodes to it's name.

    It features a vampire from the 1790's reappearing in the 1970's but beyond that it's simply Tim Burton directing Johnny Depp, supported by Helena Bonham Carter, with music by Danny Elfman, in a kooky fantasy - and so ultimately, who gives a shit? 4/10.

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  • Hershal Whiteman

    ½ Watched by Hershal Whiteman 29 Mar, 2014

    Terrible in every possible way save for a soundtrack of 70s tunes that were recorded after the events depicted in the film. So they even managed to fuck that up. Neither Eva Green or Chole Grace-Moretz can liven up the proceedings. D.O.A.

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  • Keegan

    ★½ Watched by Keegan 29 Mar, 2014

    This got worse and worse with each plot twist - all you need to know about it is the best part is a montage set to a song by the Carpenters. Incredible.

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  • Joe Cool

    Watched by Joe Cool 29 Mar, 2014

    2/10 for Eva Green. I have no idea whose dick Tim Burton sucked to get this movie made but man, I'm betting he's regretting that now.

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  • Ezra Cubero

    ★½ Watched by Ezra Cubero 02 Jun, 2012

    Tim Burton has been very hit or miss with me as a director and DARK SHADOWS might be one of his worst films thanks to it's incoherent tone, horrendous comedy, and the fact that it's just flat out boring as hell.

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  • Javier Cordero

    ★★ Watched by Javier Cordero 24 Mar, 2014

    Dios, llegué a esta cosa por Eva Green y es con lo único que me quedo.

    Burton parece cómodo con la autoparodia y su cancer: Jhonny Depp hablando y hablando y hablando.

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