Step One: Go to www.random.org.
Step Two: Pick a Number.
Step Three: GET WEIRD!
Death Race 2000
A Cross Country Road Wreck!
In a boorish future, the government sponsors a popular, but bloody, cross-country race in which points are scored by mowing down pedestrians. Five teams, each comprised of a male and female, compete using cars equipped with deadly weapons. Frankenstein, the mysterious returning champion, has become America's hero, but this time he has a passenger from the underground resistance.
The Snake Charmer and Lincoln Hawk in a Race to the Death across the US of A. The Star-Spangled Banner. Howard Cosell's cousin. Eating Raoul. Kung-fu Bill Frankenstein. Machine Gun John Rambo. Herman the German. Mr. President. A pretty face. Points. Ghetto bull fighting. Old fuckers. Baby trickeration. The Rebel Revolution. Pit stops. Your last ladder. Rub-downs. Myra and her boobs. Groupies. Romantic dancing. Holy blessings. The shit you do to please your fans. Sacrificial lambs. Bye-bye navigator. The Detour of Death. Fuckin' censorship. Dinner and Bullshit. The fuckin' French. The best time to undress. Attempted sabotage. A Mickey. The Red Baron's airplane. DYNO-mite! Lending Sly a hand. Crash, Bang, Boom. The changing of the guard. Loaded with boobs, racing, and the best point system ever, Death Race 2000 is a mother fuckin' cult classic.
For all of its low-budget limitations and exploitative sensibilities, Paul Bartel's "Death Race 2000" is a very smart film. Superficially, the film is about a cross-country road race in a dystopic United States of the future where contestants are awarded points for dispatching pedestrians while the nation watches glued to TV sets. Under the surface, the story reveals a neat satire dealing with government, entertainment, and media. "Death Race 2000" presupposes an obsession with reality TV decades before that obsession infected mass media.
The satire, however, may be secondary to the cars, violence, and skin Bartel tosses at the screen. "Death Race 2000" revels in these exploitative charms, culminating in a colorful, entertaining ride. David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone headline…
I wonder what would've happened to Justin Bieber if he was wondering the streets during this race?
It's actually pretty remarkable how many elements from Death Race 2000 ended up in the Hunger Games. The game show format that the country devours. The resistance. The funny commentators adding their two cents. I mean, I get it. America glorifies violence. That's all Death Race 2000 has to say and it doesn't even say it particularly well. But it never takes itself too seriously. From a pre-Rocky Stallone to some pretty cool pre-CGI cars crashing into shit violence, the movie wastes little time trying to build character and plot. And good riddance. In something this goofy I wouldn't have cared much anyways. As far as cheesy, bloody 1970s B-movie action goes, you could do a lot worse than Death Race 2000.
Trump's America 2019:
A superhero, teenage girl who is the chosen one, retired/amnesiac CIA agent, digital face ghost, and a raunchy frat man-bro rack up points mowing down illegal immigrants, Syrian refugees, liberal-leaning reporters, "outspoken" women, and other enemies of the state in souped-up, kustom kar death mobiles. Ryan Seacrest narrates the carmageddon, and The President blames political interference on the sniveling socialist French.
Seriously, this movie could be remade (again!) with very few changes and still ring eerily true in this day and age of reality television cartoon American politics. Laugh until it hurts, people!
Shout out to MVP Don Steele as the announcer for setting the loud, abrasive, over the top tone for the duration of the movie.…
Hmm, let me do some calculations. I think I've acquired 225 points in my lifetime
Funny, sexy, and cool-- everything you ever wanted from a B movie.
I'm not proud that my favorite character in this is Matilda the Hun, the Nazi - excuse me, alt-right - racer, but the way actress Robert Collins exclaims "Blitzkrieg!" every time she scores is far more adorable than it has any right to be.
While I've decided that the delirium produced in me on a first viewing of Death Race 2000 was worthy, I've also decided that it's a film that reveals flaws on a second viewing. And that's fine--Death Race 2000 is still a succulent combination of dystopia, violence, political commentary, style, grace, elegance, and et cetera.
While released in a decade known for some grand car films, Death Race 2000 compares closer to The Hunger Games than anything automotive related. Society has bent under the sturdy thumb of oppression and, not unlike Suzanne Collins's books, the president has determined that a yearly display of violence is just what the doctor ordered to keep their lifestyle. The violence comes in the form of…
Wild. Very silly. And, of course, very entertaining.
For a movie titled "Death Race", the movie has a noticeably low body count, but it's still an action-packed romp of absurdity. It's schlock at the absolute highest level, with a completely-unrealistic dystopian society (right out of the pages of many other 70s sci-fi flicks), gratuitous nudity, over-the-top violence, a definitely-low budget, and hammy acting.
The plot is the normal Cannonball Run formula, but set in a Mad Max Meets Hunger Games kind of world where the TV is always on, and the government is always (ineptly) watching. There's a rebellion, but it's extremely poorly-disorganized, and clashing plots between the various characters almost bring everything down.
Sylvester Stallone nails it as the…
An exploration of reality TV before it existed (I think?) and the indifference of new governing bodies. Do rebellions inevitably turn into tyranny?
Also, the hand grenade pun is everything.
Cute classic b-kyu cult fun. Also, been ages since I've seen it last.
Is that a grenade?
A hand grenade.
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