Movies that are slightly off.
Death Race 2000
A Cross Country Road Wreck!
In a boorish future, the government sponsors a popular, but bloody, cross-country race in which points are scored by mowing down pedestrians. Five teams, each comprised of a male and female, compete using cars equipped with deadly weapons. Frankenstein, the mysterious returning champion, has become America's hero, but this time he has a passenger from the underground resistance.
The Snake Charmer and Lincoln Hawk in a Race to the Death across the US of A. The Star-Spangled Banner. Howard Cosell's cousin. Eating Raoul. Kung-fu Bill Frankenstein. Machine Gun John Rambo. Herman the German. Mr. President. A pretty face. Points. Ghetto bull fighting. Old fuckers. Baby trickeration. The Rebel Revolution. Pit stops. Your last ladder. Rub-downs. Myra and her boobs. Groupies. Romantic dancing. Holy blessings. The shit you do to please your fans. Sacrificial lambs. Bye-bye navigator. The Detour of Death. Fuckin' censorship. Dinner and Bullshit. The fuckin' French. The best time to undress. Attempted sabotage. A Mickey. The Red Baron's airplane. DYNO-mite! Lending Sly a hand. Crash, Bang, Boom. The changing of the guard. Loaded with boobs, racing, and the best point system ever, Death Race 2000 is a mother fuckin' cult classic.
For all of its low-budget limitations and exploitative sensibilities, Paul Bartel's "Death Race 2000" is a very smart film. Superficially, the film is about a cross-country road race in a dystopic United States of the future where contestants are awarded points for dispatching pedestrians while the nation watches glued to TV sets. Under the surface, the story reveals a neat satire dealing with government, entertainment, and media. "Death Race 2000" presupposes an obsession with reality TV decades before that obsession infected mass media.
The satire, however, may be secondary to the cars, violence, and skin Bartel tosses at the screen. "Death Race 2000" revels in these exploitative charms, culminating in a colorful, entertaining ride. David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone headline…
I wonder what would've happened to Justin Bieber if he was wondering the streets during this race?
It's actually pretty remarkable how many elements from Death Race 2000 ended up in the Hunger Games. The game show format that the country devours. The resistance. The funny commentators adding their two cents. I mean, I get it. America glorifies violence. That's all Death Race 2000 has to say and it doesn't even say it particularly well. But it never takes itself too seriously. From a pre-Rocky Stallone to some pretty cool pre-CGI cars crashing into shit violence, the movie wastes little time trying to build character and plot. And good riddance. In something this goofy I wouldn't have cared much anyways. As far as cheesy, bloody 1970s B-movie action goes, you could do a lot worse than Death Race 2000.
Trump's America 2019:
A superhero, teenage girl who is the chosen one, retired/amnesiac CIA agent, digital face ghost, and a raunchy frat man-bro rack up points mowing down illegal immigrants, Syrian refugees, liberal-leaning reporters, "outspoken" women, and other enemies of the state in souped-up, kustom kar death mobiles. Ryan Seacrest narrates the carmageddon, and The President blames political interference on the sniveling socialist French.
Seriously, this movie could be remade (again!) with very few changes and still ring eerily true in this day and age of reality television cartoon American politics. Laugh until it hurts, people!
Shout out to MVP Don Steele as the announcer for setting the loud, abrasive, over the top tone for the duration of the movie.…
Another near perfect B movie produced by Roger Corman. Director Paul Bartel knows what it was meant to be and is extremely confident about that. The movie starts out strong right off the bat. Corman knows exactly what we want and to our pleasure, that's just what he made - A fast movie about faster people! Thus, the pacing of Death Race 2000 is just as quick as it should be. There is no exposition before the race itself. The first thing we see IS the race as it prepares to commence. The movie acts just like a messed up, R-rated version of "Wacky Races", complete with the same intro from the original cartoon, only this time starring David Carradine…
In an odd way this really is one of the movies of my life. One of my earliest introductions to B-grade exploitation movies, I've always held this one up as one of the best and funniest of the genre. It wastes no time, matching the speed and ferocity of its premise while fully engaging with the absurdity of it.
Stallone chews the scenery to pieces, all Mary Woronov has to do is glare to be a dazzling screen presence and David Carradine owns the show.
Everything is so wonderfully on the nose from a TV reporter named Grace Pander to a rebel named Thomasina Paine. Subtly is the enemy, excess is the key.
Coches molones, chicas guapas, David Carradine vs Stallone, rebeldes, niños y mayores atropellados a lo Carmageddon... ¿Le vamos a pedir además que sea buena? ¿Qué más da?
Death Race 2000 is approximately 3 minutes long, and even at that it's having trouble figure out what it's about. It spends so long waiting to reveal information about some characters that very few of anyone's interactions with each another make any sense. And by the end, the filmmakers undermine their own point within 10 seconds of making it. A few fun death scenes, the hand grenade pun, and literally everything Stallone does aside, this movie just doesn't have much to offer. But those few things it does offer are perhaps worth a midnight screening with friends.
A classic, I guess, perhaps if you saw it growing up. Low-budget gore and some mashed up race cars sort of had me begging for the original Mad Max films.
This film is hilariously awful! There are so many scenes that are either outrageous or don't make any sense, (and some that are legitimately bad) but I constantly laughed throughout! I rented it thinking Sylvester Stallone was the star, but that was just the DVD cover. This film was released before he really got famous, and let's just say thank goodness that he had Rocky the next year to redeem his career.
just absolute madness.
but thats the way we love it. VIOLENT VIOLENT VIOLENT!
SAW IT AT WEIRD WEDNESDAY AT THE ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE
A fun Roger Corman produce movie taking place in a dystopian future in which racers travel in a transcontinental race running over people. Everyone of the racers seems to be based on different movie genres. You get a glimpse of a young Sylvester Stallone before he had his breakthrough film with Rocky. Even though the movie is about people getting run over. The movie is goofy and tries to be fun.
MODERATOR: Mr. Trump, tell us more about this plan of yours for a new road sport.
TRUMP: Okay, well you see, I've been a successful sports owner in the past. The best. Look it up, USFL, had nothing to do with its disaster. We could've beat the NFL, which would've been yuge. The biggest. I thought to myself, I said, "Donald, what do you know better than anything?" Putting on a show. So, you know, there's a gonna be a race. Transcontinental, across all of this great country. We're gonna restore minority privilege in this country. I tell you that. We're gonna do it. Gonna have a lot of Wacky Racer-type champions in this sport. I mean, how could you…
"What'd you expect, another pretty face?"
Maybe it's just because I'm in the middle of reading his Fourth World stuff now, but this gave me a distinct Jack Kirby vibe - shot through with infinite imagination, but always connected to the real world (and its problems) by a usually-visible straight line.
Still confused about how Frankenstein's mask works.
Top 200 is pretty definitive. Essentially the top/most memorable 20-25% of all the films I've seen in my life (which…
***EDIT (March 30, 2014)***
Wow! I never would have expected that I'd get anywhere close to 100 likes on this…